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Women Dive Into Jewish Studies, Literally
by Malina Saval - Chabad.org

Jewish college students study a text as part of Bais Chana International’s Snorkel and Study program in Key Largo, Fla.


Vashti Aguilar dove headfirst into Jewish studies – literally. The 19 year-old sophomore at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, had never been particularly observant, but she was always curious about her Judaism. So when an opportunity in January arose to travel to Key Largo, Fla., the diving capital of the world, and partake in a week-long “Snorkel and Study” retreat for college students sponsored by Bais Chana International, Aguilar jumped at the chance – wet suit, mask, fins and all.

“It was a really spiritual experience,” gushes Aguilar, who was born in Venezuela but grew up in the Chicago area. “I’d never been scuba diving and it was just so amazing to be underwater in the ocean and seeing all these wonders of G-d. It really connected to what we were learning. It was really beautiful.”

Snorkel and Study is one of several dozen programs conducted year-round by Bais Chana, a Chabad-Lubavitch organization that was founded in 1971 by Rabbi Moshe and Mindy Feller and Rabbi Manis Friedman in Minnesota to provide a non-judgmental and supportive environment for Jewish girls and women to explore Jewish teachings and traditions in a compelling and enlightening way.

Today, it runs satellite programs in cities across North America and abroad, catering to everyone from teenage girls to single moms and offering scholarships for those in need. Listed as one of the top women’s empowerment groups on Greatnonprofits.org, Bais Chana serves Jewish communities all over the world.

“We are always looking to diversify,” says Hinda Leah Sharfstein, who first came to the program as a participant in 1980 and today serves as its executive director. “We do long-weekend programs for teens, women’s programs, programs for single moms. The programs range from five days to three weeks. We also have an advanced learning program for people who have outgrown the entry level classes in their local communities.”

This year’s summer programs include a Women’s Study Retreat in Massachusetts’ Berkshire Mountains, a Jewish Un-Camp for teens in Haliburton, Ontario, and a Women’s Advanced Studies Retreat in Minneapolis.

“The experience was intense,” says Diane Hahn, a 67-year-old Jewish educator who divides her time between Wisconsin and Florida and has attended several Bais Chana study retreats over the past six years. “After my first retreat I remember thinking [that] I never knew so much information existed about Judaism! I could not get over the amount of knowledge the people who taught the program had. I could not get enough. It made me more and more aware of the vast amount of ‘Jewishness’ that is out there. For me, it was the beginning of a long journey. I still feel that I have miles to go.”

For Sheerli Rush, a 39-year-old clinical psychologist from Cleveland, Bais Chana offered up the respect and dignity that in her experience as a single mom, was often lacking in the outside secular world.

“From both an emotional and spiritual perspective the experience was life transforming,” declares Rush, who took part in a four-day retreat for single moms. “It completely shifted my perception of my self-worth as a woman and helped me move toward a process of healing.”

From the nutritious and delicious food to the high level of intellectual and academic instruction, the program gave Rush a bolstered sense of self-esteem. This, says Sharfstein, is one of the things Bais Chana does best: make Jewish women feel inspired and whole and that they have much to contribute to society.

“I was nurtured in every way – physically, emotionally and spiritually,” says Rush. “The instructors were brilliant. One specialized in parenting, another one talked to us about intimacy. They addressed topics that were very relevant to where we were in our lives.

“There was an overall sense of respect for where we were in the journey,” she adds. “I left there feeling more grounded. As a single mom you often feel a sense of disconnect, asking yourself, ‘Where do I belong?’ Bais Chana made me stop and think: Yes I do count. Yes I do matter. Yes there is hope for me.”

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Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Genders?

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Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Genders?

By Manis Friedman


Question:

I understand that Torah law forbids all physical contact between a man and a woman -- or even for them to be alone in a room together -- unless they are first-degree relatives or married to each other. This applies to any man and any woman, regardless of their ages or whether or not they are sexually attracted to each other. And then there are all those rules about "modest" dress. Isn't that carrying it a bit far? Are we really such animals?

Answer:

When a man and woman are together in a room, and the door closes, that is a sexual event. Not because of what is going to happen, but what has already happened. It may not be something to make novels of, but it is a sexual occurrence, because male and female is what sexuality used to be all about.

It is true that in our world today, in the "free world" certainly, people have, on the whole, stopped thinking in these terms. What happened was that we started putting up all these defenses, getting steeled, inured, against the constant exposure and stimulation of men and women sharing all sorts of activities -- co-educational school, camps, gyms -- is that we started blocking out groups of people. We can't be as naturally sexual as G-d created us to be. When a man says, "I have a woman friend, but we're just friends, nothing more, I'm not attracted to her in any sexual way, she's not my type," you've got to ask yourself what is really going on here. Is this a disciplined person? Or is this a person who has died a little bit?

What does he mean "she's not my type?" When did all this typing come into existence? It's all artificial. It's not true to human sexuality. And it really isn't even true in this particular context because given a slight change of circumstance, you could very easily be attracted. After all, you are a male, she's a female. How many times does a relationship begin that is casual, neighborly, and then suddenly becomes intimate? The great awakening of this boy and girl who are running around, doing all sorts of things, sharing all sorts of activities, and lo and behold, they realize -- what drama, what drama -- that they are attracted to each other. These are grown-ups, intelligent human beings, and it caught them by surprise. It's kind of silly.

So closing a door should be recognized as a sexual event. And you need to ask yourself: Are you prepared for this? Is it permissible? Is it proper? If not, leave the door open. Should men and women shake hands? Should it be seen as an intimate gesture? Should any physical contact that is friendly be considered intimate? Hopefully, it should.

These laws are not guarantees against sin. They have never completely prevented it. There are people who dress very modestly. They cover everything. They sin. It's a little more cumbersome but they manage. All these laws are not just there to lessen the possibility of someone doing something wrong. They also preserve sexuality -- because human sexuality is what G-d wants. He gave us these laws to preserve it, to enhance it -- and makes sure it's focused to the right places and circumstances -- not to stifle it.

We have become callous about our sexuality. Even in marriage, a kiss on the run cheapens it, makes it callous -- then we run to the therapist for advice. And do you know what the therapist who charges $200 an hour for his advice says? He tells the couple not to touch each other for two weeks. Judaism tells you that free of charge. Yes, there are two weeks each month during which a husband and wife don't touch. This therapy has been around for 3000 years. And it still works. It's a wonderful idea.

When you don't close the door on yourself and that other person, you are recognizing your own sexuality. You are acknowledging the sexuality of the other person. Being modest, recognizing our borders, knowing where intimacy begins and not waiting until it is so intimate that we're too far gone, is a very healthy way of living. It doesn't change your lifestyle dramatically, but enhances it dramatically, and you come away more capable of relaxing, better able to be spontaneous, because you know that you can trust yourself. You've defined your borders. Now you can be free. It takes a load off your mind and it makes you a much more lovable person.

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