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Notes from Bais Chana Class

2011-07-21T12:06:00.001-07:00

"An evil inclination is when you simply say, 'my need comes first.' "
"One rule in all relationships: When you make the other person feel like who they are, they will adore you and forever feel indebted. "
"G-d = The original existence who was all alone and had a desire.
If a person shoudl ahve known, hes not excused for ignorance. If it could not have been known to him, hes excused.
A healthy person is someone whoès body doesnèt interfere with his intelligent mind as it pursues the purpose for which he exists.
There is no sin you can commit that will ever prevent you from becoming holy again. Because innocense in natural and came first. If you can go the other way, you can surely come back to what you started with.
When someone is in pain, you dont try to take it away; You share it with them.
If someone doesnèt have any responsibility or purpose, they become severely depressed because they arent necessary.
The further away you are, the greater the joy in coming closer.
No indivudual can ever be too unholy for a mitzvah because no one is truly holy enough to do something for G-d..and yet He still wants it from us.
Consequences dont determine whether something is wrong. The definition of right and wrong are determined according to the rules that existed before you got there.
A healthy person doesnèt have to do unnatural things in order to feel good.
People are afraid to think of inequality because they are faraid of their immorality.
Immorality means: If you are superior, you are not allowed to take advantage of someone elses inferiority.
Idolatry: G-d created the world, and now I decide what happens.

2011-07-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

Transcript:

The Rabbi and the Secret - Part I
Rabbi Manis Friedman

There is a book called "The Secret". I don't know if you've heard about it. It's a tiny little book. It's not a Jewish book. And it talks about the power of positive thinking. Maybe it could be a bit of an exaggeration, you know, it's hype, but basically it's on target. It's correct. One of the people, one of the contributors in the book, his name is John Assaraf, and he wrote a follow-up book on The Secret.

So a couple of months ago, near San Diego, there was a program the shluchim (emissaries) made that was called The Torah and The Secret. And he spoke and basically said like this – he said when you think positive, your thoughts have a very positive and powerful affect. So he creates like a visual board. You hang it up on the wall and you put all your positive thoughts on the board. He has a book about it, how you do this. Now he says that he moved from Chicago to this very expensive house outside of San Diego, and he was unpacking. And one of the things he unpacked was his visual board. And he realized that while living in Chicago many years earlier he had created a board of what he sees his future to be. One of the things that he hung up on the board is a picture of a house that he cut out of a magazine. This is the kind of house he envisions for his own future. As he was unpacking it and he saw the house that he had clipped out of a magazine, he realized that he had just moved into that house. Not a house like it, that house.

So he explained, how does it work. How does it work that your thoughts can affect gashmius, can affect physical reality? So he went into a whole thing that according to science the whole world, even a physical object, is not a fixed and permanent thing. It's all fluid. Even the laws of nature, they're all fluid. So since everything is always moving, everything is always in movement, your thoughts can move it in one direction or another. So your thinking has an affect even on physical reality. He explained the whole theory of the principle of uncertainty in science – that since the atoms are made up of moveable parts and the electrons are always running around and jumping away – so you never know where the buildings blocks of a physical thing, where they're going and what they're gonna do a minute from now. And that's why it's possible for your thoughts to actually change reality. It's all pretty sophisticated stuff and people were very impressed. He is a high powered speaker. He's one of these great motivational, you know, he speaks, gets $25,000 for a speech, this is the big time.

Where is this in Torah? Where do we see it is in the Torah? So I wanted to deliver it, explain it in the most simple – for people who never, don't know what Torah is. Why are your words or your thoughts so powerful? So when he finished speaking I mentioned that right at the beginning of the Torah we are given the same secret. So it hasn't been a secret for at least 3000 years.

The secret is – G-d created the world, how? By saying. He said.

What happened on Shabbos (the Sabbath)? V'yonach bayom hashvii (And on the seventh day He rested). So what happened on Shabbos? He still has to create the world or it wouldn't exist but it's Shabbos. So what happens on Shabbos is that He creates the world not with dibbur (speech), but with machshava (thought). So during the week the world is created with words. On Shabbos the world is created with thought. That's why Shabbos is holier than the rest of the week, because thought is higher than dibbur. Behind it all, what brings the world into existence? Kall asher chofetz Hashem asa (Everything G-d desired, He did). By the fact that the Aibishter (G-d) wants it, that makes it happen.

So now we have 3 things – the word, the thought, and the ratzon (will). The Aibishter wants, it happens. That's why when you think, or speak, or even want, you're affecting the whole world. Cause the whole world, the olam hagashmi is a response to words, thoughts and ratzon.

Now in the book The Secret, which basically tells you stuff that you already know, only it exaggerates it a little, there's one interesting statement, which was surprising to find it in a secular book. They discovered that thinking is very powerful. But positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts. Which is really interesting. They don't explain it. They don't have an explanation. But they notice that this is true. Machshava (thought) is very powerful, but positive machshava is more powerful than negative machshava. Why is that? The explanation in Torah is very simple. The whole world is vibrating in response to the Aibishter's word. If you say a positive word, your energy, your word now joins the Aibishter's word and adds an impact. If you say something negative it has an affect but it's just your word, it's not joining the Aibishter's word so it can't have as much of an affect.

When you have a positive machshava, then you're thinking in the same path, in the same line as the Aibishter is thinking, so obviously your machshava is gonna have a bigger impact. If your ratzon (will) is the same that the Aibishter wants then of course your ratzon is gonna be more powerful.

So that explains everything. It explains why your thought can have an affect, how, and it explains why a positive affect is stronger than a negative affect. So when we say, “Tracht gut vet zayn gut”, (think good it will be good) what is “tracht gut” (think good)? What's good? If you think, for example, whatever the Aibishter wants is fine with me, is that called “tracht gut”? It's not. Why is that not good? It sounds good. Whatever kall asher asa HaKodesh Baruch Hu (all that G-d does) is fine with me. That's not good? That's good emuna. That's not good getracht (thinking). “Tracht gut” means think what He's thinking. Don't just say whatever He's thinking is fine. So “tracht gut” means think what He's thinking. Want what He wants. How do you know what He wants? Since the Aibishter is etzem hatov (the essence of good), and ainei mevakesh ella lefikocham (he only asks according to ones ability), since the Aibishter wants to do good, and He does good according to your understanding, so if you're thinking, “I am sure that I'm going to be well”, or that “my child is going to be cured”, that's what the Aibishter is thinking. So when your machshava (thought) matches His machshava (thought), it brings that machshava down to earth and it actually happens begashmius (in physicality).

2011-06-22T07:59:00.001-07:00

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2011-06-16T16:27:00.001-07:00

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Women Dive Into Jewish Studies, Literally
by Malina Saval - Chabad.org

Jewish college students study a text as part of Bais Chana International’s Snorkel and Study program in Key Largo, Fla.

Vashti Aguilar dove headfirst into Jewish studies – literally. The 19 year-old sophomore at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, had never been particularly observant, but she was always curious about her Judaism. So when an opportunity in January arose to travel to Key Largo, Fla., the diving capital of the world, and partake in a week-long “Snorkel and Study” retreat for college students sponsored by Bais Chana International, Aguilar jumped at the chance – wet suit, mask, fins and all.

“It was a really spiritual experience,” gushes Aguilar, who was born in Venezuela but grew up in the Chicago area. “I’d never been scuba diving and it was just so amazing to be underwater in the ocean and seeing all these wonders of G-d. It really connected to what we were learning. It was really beautiful.”

Snorkel and Study is one of several dozen programs conducted year-round by Bais Chana, a Chabad-Lubavitch organization that was founded in 1971 by Rabbi Moshe and Mindy Feller and Rabbi Manis Friedman in Minnesota to provide a non-judgmental and supportive environment for Jewish girls and women to explore Jewish teachings and traditions in a compelling and enlightening way.

Today, it runs satellite programs in cities across North America and abroad, catering to everyone from teenage girls to single moms and offering scholarships for those in need. Listed as one of the top women’s empowerment groups on Greatnonprofits.org, Bais Chana serves Jewish communities all over the world.

“We are always looking to diversify,” says Hinda Leah Sharfstein, who first came to the program as a participant in 1980 and today serves as its executive director. “We do long-weekend programs for teens, women’s programs, programs for single moms. The programs range from five days to three weeks. We also have an advanced learning program for people who have outgrown the entry level classes in their local communities.”

This year’s summer programs include a Women’s Study Retreat in Massachusetts’ Berkshire Mountains, a Jewish Un-Camp for teens in Haliburton, Ontario, and a Women’s Advanced Studies Retreat in Minneapolis.

“The experience was intense,” says Diane Hahn, a 67-year-old Jewish educator who divides her time between Wisconsin and Florida and has attended several Bais Chana study retreats over the past six years. “After my first retreat I remember thinking [that] I never knew so much information existed about Judaism! I could not get over the amount of knowledge the people who taught the program had. I could not get enough. It made me more and more aware of the vast amount of ‘Jewishness’ that is out there. For me, it was the beginning of a long journey. I still feel that I have miles to go.”

For Sheerli Rush, a 39-year-old clinical psychologist from Cleveland, Bais Chana offered up the respect and dignity that in her experience as a single mom, was often lacking in the outside secular world.

“From both an emotional and spiritual perspective the experience was life transforming,” declares Rush, who took part in a four-day retreat for single moms. “It completely shifted my perception of my self-worth as a woman and helped me move toward a process of healing.”

From the nutritious and delicious food to the high level of intellectual and academic instruction, the program gave Rush a bolstered sense of self-esteem. This, says Sharfstein, is one of the things Bais Chana does best: make Jewish women feel inspired and whole and that they have much to contribute to society.

“I was nurtured in every way – physically, emotionally and spiritually,” says Rush. “The instructors were brilliant. One specialized in parenting, another one talked to us about intimacy. They addressed topics that were very relevant to where we were in our lives.

“There was an overall sense of respect for where we were in the journey,” she adds. “I left there feeling more grounded. As a single mom you often feel a sense of disconnect, asking yourself, ‘Where do I belong?’ Bais Chana made me stop and think: Yes I do count. Yes I do matter. Yes there is hope for me.”

Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Genders?

2011-06-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

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Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Genders?

By Manis Friedman

Question:

I understand that Torah law forbids all physical contact between a man and a woman -- or even for them to be alone in a room together -- unless they are first-degree relatives or married to each other. This applies to any man and any woman, regardless of their ages or whether or not they are sexually attracted to each other. And then there are all those rules about "modest" dress. Isn't that carrying it a bit far? Are we really such animals?

Answer:

When a man and woman are together in a room, and the door closes, that is a sexual event. Not because of what is going to happen, but what has already happened. It may not be something to make novels of, but it is a sexual occurrence, because male and female is what sexuality used to be all about.

It is true that in our world today, in the "free world" certainly, people have, on the whole, stopped thinking in these terms. What happened was that we started putting up all these defenses, getting steeled, inured, against the constant exposure and stimulation of men and women sharing all sorts of activities -- co-educational school, camps, gyms -- is that we started blocking out groups of people. We can't be as naturally sexual as G-d created us to be. When a man says, "I have a woman friend, but we're just friends, nothing more, I'm not attracted to her in any sexual way, she's not my type," you've got to ask yourself what is really going on here. Is this a disciplined person? Or is this a person who has died a little bit?

What does he mean "she's not my type?" When did all this typing come into existence? It's all artificial. It's not true to human sexuality. And it really isn't even true in this particular context because given a slight change of circumstance, you could very easily be attracted. After all, you are a male, she's a female. How many times does a relationship begin that is casual, neighborly, and then suddenly becomes intimate? The great awakening of this boy and girl who are running around, doing all sorts of things, sharing all sorts of activities, and lo and behold, they realize -- what drama, what drama -- that they are attracted to each other. These are grown-ups, intelligent human beings, and it caught them by surprise. It's kind of silly.

So closing a door should be recognized as a sexual event. And you need to ask yourself: Are you prepared for this? Is it permissible? Is it proper? If not, leave the door open. Should men and women shake hands? Should it be seen as an intimate gesture? Should any physical contact that is friendly be considered intimate? Hopefully, it should.

These laws are not guarantees against sin. They have never completely prevented it. There are people who dress very modestly. They cover everything. They sin. It's a little more cumbersome but they manage. All these laws are not just there to lessen the possibility of someone doing something wrong. They also preserve sexuality -- because human sexuality is what G-d wants. He gave us these laws to preserve it, to enhance it -- and makes sure it's focused to the right places and circumstances -- not to stifle it.

We have become callous about our sexuality. Even in marriage, a kiss on the run cheapens it, makes it callous -- then we run to the therapist for advice. And do you know what the therapist who charges $200 an hour for his advice says? He tells the couple not to touch each other for two weeks. Judaism tells you that free of charge. Yes, there are two weeks each month during which a husband and wife don't touch. This therapy has been around for 3000 years. And it still works. It's a wonderful idea.

When you don't close the door on yourself and that other person, you are recognizing your own sexuality. You are acknowledging the sexuality of the other person. Being modest, recognizing our borders, knowing where intimacy begins and not waiting until it is so intimate that we're too far gone, is a very healthy way of living. It doesn't change your lifestyle dramatically, but enhances it dramatically, and you come away more capable of relaxing, better able to be spontaneous, because you know that you can trust yourself. You've defined your borders. Now you can be free. It takes a load off your mind and it makes you a much more lovable person.

Rabbi Manis Friedman & Simcha Werner Pesach with KMR

2011-05-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

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2011-02-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

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2011-01-17T08:14:00.000-08:00

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2010-05-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

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Definitions are very helpful. For example: what does sadness mean? What is the experience of sadness? People say I feel sad. The truth is the correct definition of sadness is that you feel nothing. A person who is sad has blocked all feelings and will not feel joy or grief. So it is a non feeling, it is a lifelessness of the heart. And that is why sadness is unholy and is to be avoided to the extreme.

2010-01-27T14:08:00.001-08:00

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Definitions for things are very very helpful to understanding things clearly. For example, what is the definition of marriage. Some people would say marriage is a union of a man and a woman. Spiritual people would say that it is a union of a soul of a man and a woman. But the true definition of marriage is that it is not a union at all, it is a reunion. Two halves of a soul, divided at birth into male and female, who are reunited in a marriage. Then it is really a marriage.

2010-01-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

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A young man once went to the home of an older Chassid. He knocked on the door but nobody answered. He knocked again; he came back- tried repeatedly- until finally the older Chassid answered the door. And the young man said: "I came to get instruction to be taught how to be a mentsch. Teach me how to be a mentsch". The older Chassid replied "the lesson has already begun. I didn’t let you in when I didn’t want you to come in, and I do let you in when I want you to come in. A mentsch can bring in what he wants and leave out what he doesn’t want. A mentsch is not a victim of his environment".

2010-01-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

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Random thoughts on Morality and War

A. morality is meant to save lives and bring peace. One does not die for ones morality-
Self sacrifice should be reserved for religious issues

B. Morality should make you stronger not weaker, it should work for you not against you

C. The only excuse for war is self defense, the only purpose of war is peace

D. Morality that is nice on the surface but ends in death is not morality at all

E. We cannot control our enemies misbehavior, but we may not contribute to it

F. Self defense is a moral obligation not a right

G. Peace comes not for the love of peace but from the dread of war

H. Self defense means:to do whatever it takes to insure the safety of your people

I.The west fights every war with one hand tied behind their back, nice sentiment but not morally correct.
The moral form of war is :

A war fought to conclusion not to a stand still

A war fought to a quick victory so the country can go back to normal life

A war that brings at least forty years of peace

2010-01-18T21:23:00.000-08:00

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A Retrospective Pesach

2006-04-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

Last week, while preparing my Seder Plate, many fmilliar thoughts and memories came to me – much as they do each Pesach. I recall sitting at my father’s Seder table. I can see the memories flooding his thoughts as he reads aloud from the Haggada.

I wonder. Are they memories of Pesach past? A Seder night in Siberia during the war? How? Where did they get the Matzah? Who prepared the meal? Maybe there was no Matzah or any food at all to prepare. I want to ask these questions but I dare not.

He was a teenager then, a refugee from Poland enjoying the hospitality of the Soviet Union in the frozen wasteland of Siberia. His mother had died before the war leaving his father with three children to raise, and with Nazis threatening to invade Poland, they had crossed the border into Russia. His father was frail, a scholar by nature, but uncompromising; Pesach was a holy day and nothing would prevent him from observing its laws. Thus, while the world was at war with itself they sat at a table, the four of them, in that barren strange land and made a Seder.

This may in fact be the question of the wise son: "What are the laws, commandments, and statutes that G-d our G-d commanded you?" Unlike the wicked son this son is not excluding himself when he says "commanded you". He is marveling at his father's generation and wants to know what made them so strong. He is asking, "What did you see in the Mitzvot that made them non-negotiable?" “How did we lose that conviction? Why are Mitzvot which we observe a matter of choice for us but not for you? You didn't need the mitzvah to appeal to you, inspire you. You didn't need to see some spiritual benefits derive from observing Torah. You needed no reason to do what must be done; what is right, good and holy.”

The answer given the wise son is, "We don't eat or drink after the Afikomen." The Matzah eaten at the end of the meal - the pieces that were hidden for the children to 'steal' - need not be enjoyed. After a full meal we have no appetite for that Matzah. We don't enjoy its taste. It's a Mitzva, so we eat it. Yet we don't eat or drink after the 'afikomen' allowing the taste of it to linger.

This represents a great form of divine service; A Mitzva is best observed for its own sake - G-d asked us to do it so we do.

How do we do the mitzvah? With pleasure! We let the 'taste' linger.
We celebrate our Jewish-ness and the feel of it.

Thus we have the best of both worlds. We choose to do the mitzvah knowing that no choice is necessary. We have the PLEASURE of SERVING.

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A Mitzvah of Intoxication?

2006-03-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

"One is obligated to drink on Purim until one doesn't know the difference between "Cursed is Haman" and "Blessed is Mordechai"

Q. What does it mean when the sages 'pass a law' saying "One is obligated'? Who is obligating us? The authority of the Rabbis? The authority of Torah that tells us to obey the rabbis? Or possibly reality itself?

In the example of Purim it is Purim itself that 'obligates'. It is the quality of the day. If you felt the energy that Purim produces you would feel 'obligated', compelled, moved to get yourself beyond 'cursed' and 'blessed'; you would come to a place where Haman is despised and Mordechai is adored for their essences, ABSOLUTELY, even if they were both cursed or both blessed.

True is true. Nothing matters beyond the truth. For example: there are no other gods besides G-d. So I don't worship idols. Is G-d more powerful than the idol? Irrelevant. Idols are not true. Is idol worship cursed and damning? Irrelevant! If idols were beautiful, meaningful and inspiring, if they brought rain or made you fertile, if it could heal sickness and bring bliss, I still do not worship them because they are not true. Like the false prophet who impresses with unusual talents and psychic ability, he is still a false prophet if he contradicts the truth of Torah.

Are we too confused to know simple truths? Are we too sophisticated to appreciate that right is right and wrong is wrong?

Sin is sin. Must it also be too expensive before I reject it?

Sin is sin. Must it also be unnatural? Perverted? Unhealthy? Distasteful? Pig is forbidden but what if it is the healthiest meat? What if it is cheaper, cleaner, more tasty than kosher food?

Would that change the truth?

A Jew can not marry a non-Jew; It is not a marriage. But if he is a doctor? Nicer than any Jew you've met and more spiritual? What if he is “blessed” and Jews are "cursed"? Then what?!

And this is the message of Purim and the Mitzvah to not know the difference between "Cursed is Haman" and "Blessed is Mordechai": Regardless of all other considerations, Haman remains Haman and Mordechai is still the Yehudi.

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The Audio Is Here

2006-03-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

Here's the recording of the class we broadcast the other night.

Enjoy!

~The BlogMaster

Click to play:

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On Happiness

2006-03-09T09:49:00.000-08:00

Here's a thought that came up in a conversation the other night after our broadcast Bais Chana class:

The simple truths in life are what brings happiness. This means focusing on simple realities: life is good, being a Jew is good, having my family is good, etc. This enables you to be happy. However we need to distingush happiness from contentment. To be content is different from being happy in the following ways. Contentment must be earned - happiness is free. Happiness is related to gratitude - contentment is related to satisfaction. Happiness is the absence of doubt - contentment is the successful resolution of doubts.

Therefore, simple truths will produce happiness, but only achievement will bring contentment.

So I am happy to be what I am, to be included in G-d's vast eternal plan. A part of the chosen people, able to serve Him at any time. But if I don't actually serve Him and accomplish some good in my life I will not be content. Contentment is measured by effort. The harder I try the more content I will be.

What do you think?

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Yesterday's Broadcast

2006-03-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say how wonderful the turn out was for yesterday's broadcast! We were very complimented by your participation. And, we'll do it again soon!

Did you miss it? Not to worry. We've got it recorded for you and we hope to have it up here very shortly.

~The BlogMaster

click here

What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part VI

2006-03-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

Purpose?

To make a dwelling place for G-d in the lowest world (that's our world) is the reason for which He created the universe.

A dwelling place means a place where you can be yourself, let your hair down.

The first requirement for a divine home is to accept G-d as He is: infinite or finite, kind or stern, forgiving or punishing, caring or distant, demanding or indifferent. He can be whatever He chooses to be and I'm comfortable with that. Worshipping other gods would mean making conditions for G-d: I can see G-d as a saviour when I need saving; I see G-d as punishing when my enemy needs 'killin'; He is the G-d of fertility when I need to be fertile. So I'm believing in one G-d, but only in bite size pieces as I feel the need. But to allow G-s to be whatever He wishes?! That's too scary, too humbling. That's not a 'home'. We are treating G-d like a guest or visitor or worse.

So the first thing is - let G-d tell you what He is, what He wants, what He needs from you. He does this in Torah.

The second requirement is 'light'. A home must be illuminated. Brightly. 'Light' here refers to relationship. Example: a marriage essentially involves a husband and wife living together. In the olden days it was, "I have a son, you have a daughter. Fine. They will be married." What else do you need? And that would be a marriage. In point of fact it would constitute a sacred institution, inviolable. But the two people must also relate to each other, 'know' each other. Otherwise it will not be a complete home.

That is the light of the home that G-d desires: where He is Himself and we know Him, take pleasure in Him, love and fear Him, serve Him.

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Rabbi Friedman Live - - Tonight

2006-03-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

9:30 pm EST (7:30 Mountain, 6:30 Pacific)

To listen, either:
- Enter TorahChat here (may require plugin,) or
- Download Java Player here

See full article for more information.

If you choose to click to enter TorahChat, this will take you to one of the “study rooms” at VirtualYeshiva.com. You may be prompted to install a PlugIn. This is safe for your computer. You will then be asked to login with your name and taken into the “room” where you will be able to hear the class.

If you choose to click to download the Java Player, the player will automatically begin to install. You will be asked whether you trust the software from “jlGui Team”. Click “Yes”. The download will complete and the player will open automatically.

Enjoy!

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What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part V

2006-03-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

Continuing on yesterday's thoughts...

I recall a particular afternoon some years ago, in the early 1960s, when thirty Jewish scientists from various Eastern universities attended one of the Rebbe’s Shabbat afternoon gatherings (called farbrengens.) The scientists sat among the Chassidim and listened while the Rebbe spoke in Yiddish, which they did'nt understand. During the break for singing, one of the Chassidim gave them a synopsis in English of what the Rebbe said. Even in English it didn’t mean much to them.

When the Rebbe resumed the discourse, he dedicated the next portion of his talk to the visitors, and for the next forty minutes he described the mystical Chassidic view of the universe. During the next break, the Chassid again translated the Rebbe’s words; “The Rebbe said that all matter is behavior, and we can see this behavior by observing nature closely”.

“Did he really say that?” one scientist asked. “Physics also defines nature as “observable behavior patterns.” The scientists who had come as curios observers began to wonder if the mystical and physical are compatible after all. Certainly, in the Rebbe’s world, the two are one. Of course, there are significant differences between the scientists’ view and Chassidus' view. The scientist saw a mechanical universe. The Rebbe saw a warm, responsive universe with a beating heart.

Chassidus' view of creation sheds new light on the phenomenon of miracles. The Rebbe pointed out that the miraculous events described in Torah are G-d doing what He always does, only varying the routine.

For instance, G-d usually tells water to flow downward, an instruction so familiar that we call it natural law. Then one day, somewhere in the Sinai, G-d told water to stand still: The water behaved like a wall to their right and to their left. This instruction happens so infrequently that some people call it a violation of natural law, and others call it a miracle. In truth, both standing still and running downward are miracles.

The Talmud tells the story of the sage, Rabbi Chanina Ben Dosa, who arrived home one Friday evening, just as the sun was setting. As always on Fridays, he found the table set and his daughter preparing to light the Shabbat light. But something was amiss.

“Why do you look so unhappy?” he asked.

She answered that she had accidentally added vinegar to the oil in the Shabbat lights. “The vinegar will surely extinguish the flames,” she said.

“He who tells oil to burn will tell vinegar to burn” her father answered.
That Shabbat evening, vinegar burned.

Was it a miracle? We assume that oil burns because of its chemical properties, meaning, “I don’t know why, that’s just how it is.” Although we can see oil burning, there is no reason that oil must burn. The Rebbe, a mystic as well as a man of science, said that oil burns because G-d tells it to.

The same is true of all natural laws. We know that aspirin relieves a headache and we may even know how it does the job. Yet we’ll never know why. The Healer of all flesh instructs aspirin to subdue pain, usually. And usually, He tells water to flow downward and oil to burn. It’s all the same to them.

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fyi: Rabbi Friedman Live! - - Tonight!!

2006-03-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

Join Rabbi Friedman online live from Bais Chana, Tuesday night, March 7th at 7:30 pm Mountain [9:30 pm Eastern Standard, 6:30 pm Pacific]

The talk:
Back to Basics - - In so many ways, all we want are the simple things in life: good health, happiness, love. How did things get so complicated?

Rabbi Friedman's talk will be broadcast using the Virtual Yeshiva's Torah Chat Radio Network. To listen, go to: www.VirtualYeshiva.com

Or you can use their a state-of-the-art interactive Jewish voice chat system. To participate, all you need is a computer and a easy-to-install spyware-free browser plug-in (PC, MAC, or Linux) using Internet Explorer, Avant Browser, Netscape, or Mozilla Firefox. You need only do this once, and you don't even need to reboot! Press Allow, Accept or Always, if prompted. It's quick, it's safe and it's free! To participate in this on-line event, link to www.TorahChat.com.

What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part IV

2006-03-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

I recently addressed a non-Jewish audience on this very subject - "Creationism" or "Intelligent Design"

Here's some of how I presented it to them:

He alone exists and there is nothing besides Him.

Some people imagine G-d to be something like a cosmic sculptor chiseling away at a chunk of primal stuff until it assumes the form he has in mind. Then, he polishes it, puts it on display, and then he walks away.

Unlike a sculptor, G-d creates the world out of nothing. He has no chunk of anything, and the entire effect of existence is the result of His effort. Nor can the new creation maintain its shape if G-d steps back from it.

Chassidus uses simple metaphors to explore the mysteries of the Unknown and the Unknowable. Imagine throwing a stone into the air. The force behind your throw give the stone the properties of flight; but no matter how often you throw it, no matter how often it soars through he air, it never becomes a flying stone. If you see a stone flying past your window you don’t marvel at the uniqueness of that particular stone. You simply wonder, “Who’s throwing stones?”

Just as a stone, even as it flies, is incapable of flight, the universe – even as it exists – is incapable of existing. If you stop throwing the stone is once again immobile. And if G-d stops creating, the universe will return to nothingness.

He is the only anything. Everything else is being “existed” by Him.

Let’s peel back another layer: G-d created the world out of absolute nothingness, meaning that G-d does not produce the world like a chicken produces an egg. Before being laid, the egg exists both in principle and in potential: In principle because a chicken is designed to lay eggs; in potential because an egg already exists in an incipient form long before you see it.

The creator and His creation have no such relationship. Physical matter does not preexist somewhere inside G-d. Nor is G-d programmed to produce universes. So how does G-d do it?

G-d calls the universe into existence with His words, “Let there be….”

Every created being, from angel to electron, obediently responds, then, unable to maintain its own existence, slips back into nothingness. G-d repeats the command and the being responds again, constantly. Creation recurs so rapidly and seamlessly like the frames of a motion picture, that we barely detect the blip of nothingness in between.

In the Tehillim, King David marvels at the beauty of constant creation: The heavens tell of G-d’s glory and the firmament speaks of His works. The cow in the meadow speaks of His works by being a cow every moment of its life. The electron tells of G-d’s glory by behaving like an electron every second of its existence.

The universe derives its energy from tension between being and not being. As matter pulses across the divide that separates existence from extinction, the world hums with the word of G-d, thus singing His praises.

This futuristic analysis of the cosmos was first described by the Baal Shem Tov almost three hundred years ago, when he called nature, “Matter behaving in the pattern assigned by G-d’s word.”

More of this soon...

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What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part III

2006-02-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

Before we move on to the more distant origins of the universe, let’s look again at words and thought.

Words are necessary only when communicating with something outside of yourself. Words are revealed. Thought is for yourself, remaining inside and concealed.

G-d’s words are revealed to us. What they create we can see. We see grass, sky, water, stars etc. G-d’s thoughts are mysterious. We can’t see what He is thinking and we don’t understand what His thoughts create: suffering, death, evil, galus (exile.) These we don’t understand. Why? What is He thinking?

So we know what is happening but we don’t know why. Only with great effort and sensitive feelings can we learn something of His thoughts as stated in Torah, Chassidus, Kabbalah, Midrash.

One other distinction between words and thoughts: everything has both mass and energy. The energy of words is the meaning that they convey or what they tell you about the speaker. If the words reveal the speaker a lot, as when they come from the heart, you can feel the energy. But this energy is distributed into many words made of even more letters, and vocalized through the five organs of sound: lips, tongue, teeth, etc. This is why the world, created through words, has so many creatures so different from one another - a world of countless little beings all separated by their individual properties. Just like words.

Thought, on the other hand, is more inclusive. We think in general pictures, not in
pixels. Maybe this explains the difficulty in concentrating. Thought sees the whole picture without its minute details and can get impatient with the little pieces of the puzzle.

So the universe in G-d’s thought is much more beautiful, peaceful, and whole.

More to come…

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q&a: Omniscience

2006-02-27T18:13:00.000-08:00

CBC asked:
"G d is the knower, the object of knowledge, and the knowledge itself. So He knows all, past , future, present. He can't help but know. And yet we have some limited degree of free will. And yet because He is the knower, of course He knows what we will choose. And we often choose wrongly. It all breaks down for me about here. Is it that G d knows what we will choose and yet hopes he is wrong? It sounds ridiculous."

Dear CBC,

I love a thoughtful question. Thank you.

First, G-d’s knowledge extends to all existence, past, present, and future. This is because all existence derives from G-d’s personal attention. Hence if He is constantly creating everything He must also be aware of it.

Secondly, past, present and future are all part of what He creates. He is creating the future or has already created the future.

Now, if you say that He knows the future, you don’t mean that He is predicting the future like some soothsayer. Rather, that He knows the future. How can He know the future if it hasn’t happened yet? There is nothing to know! So knowing the future assumes that a future exists, has already happened and that this is something to know. He already knows it. We won’t know until we get there.

In other words: He doesn’t know what will happen, He sees the future already ‘happened’. He knows what you will choose only because you have already made your choice. He sees you choosing it and it is your free choice that He is observing – He knows your choice now because you have already chosen – in the future, which is for Him, the same as the past.

Your choice, therefore, does not come from His knowledge; His knowledge comes from your choice.

Thanks again for the question

RMF

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What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part II

2006-02-27T12:35:00.000-08:00

Of the three garments of the soul - thought, speech and action - only thought is continuous. There is "a time to speak and a time to refrain from speaking" but never a time to not think. Thought is constant.
This is because thought is closer to the soul and the soul never stops.

What does a soul do? (Not the G-dly soul, just a soul of any kind). A soul knows and feels - intelligence and emotions make up the soul's faculties. Thought is the conscious awareness of what is going on in the soul. You are aware of the soul's emotions (love, fear, etc.) and the soul's store of knowledge. If you don't know when you are frightened or that you are in love, that is an unhealthy thought function or malfunction of thought.

So the power behind thought is the emotion that produces it. The emotion of the heart excites the thoughts just as the thoughts excite the words. You can see this on the face of a person when his feelings flood into his thoughts even before he utters a word.

Thus the universe originates, not in speech or thought; it already exists in G-d's kindness, severity, compassion, etc. The six days of creation are the results of six attributes within G-d. G-d felt generous - this created the thoughts and words of the first day. G-d felt judgmental - this created the thoughts and words of the second day, and so on.

So now, where does light come from? Divine kindness. The world begins in His kindness.

But where do emotions get their power? What creates kindness? What is their origin?

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What Do We Know About Creation? - - Part I

2006-02-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

Ask anybody, "How was the world created?" They will tell you, "The world was created by the word of G-d." G-d said "Let there be light" and there was light. But what does the word 'light' mean? Or what did it mean when it was first spoken? Since light had not yet existed, the word was meaningless.

We must understand these words to be not only names, but formulas.
Something like, H2O produces water. (O.K., it doesn't produce water; it just describes its makeup).

Rabbi Schneur Zalman, the Alter Rebbe, explains in the Tanya that words are composed of letters, each letter having creative energy. Arrange the letters one way and you get one type of creation. Arranged differently you get another creation. Aleph-vov-reish is the 'formula' for light. Aleph-bais-nun is the 'formula' for stones.
Aleph-reish-yud is the 'formula' for lions, etc.

Where do letters get this power?

Speech means revelation. You reveal what is on your mind or in your heart by speaking. Words convey to others what is hidden in your thoughts. Thought has more energy than word because it is closer to the soul. This explains why speaking can bring relief from troubling thoughts. Thoughts are the soul of the words you speak; hence thoughtful words feel alive while thoughtless words feel hollow. Thus the energy behind the 'word' is the thought.

When you are searching for the origins of the universe you will want to get to the earliest beginnings of existence. You will, therefore, ask, "Where did the word of G-d come from?" The answer will be from His thoughts. He thought about creation before creating, thus the universe already existed in His mind before He spoke it into being.

Incidentally, during the week G-d creates the world with words, but on Shabbat He creates with thought alone. The world is holier on Shabbat because of this.

But... What produces thoughts?

We'll get to that tomorrow, G-d willing.

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What Do We Know About Creation?

2006-02-24T13:51:00.000-08:00

The problem with evolution is that it traces existence back to a primitive state but then gets stuck, because sooner of later you have to deal with the fact that before there was something there was nothing. And how do you get something from nothing?

Next week, we’ll do a series on creation, or as it’s recently been popularized, “Intelligent Design.” The Chabad insights into this subject are fascinating, but not very well known.

In the meantime, have a wonderful Shabbos and keep in touch.

Response to “Unsure”

2006-02-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

Dear "Unsure",

You are torturing yourself unnecessarily. As a fifteen year-old, why would you expect to ‘know for sure’ all the truths of Torah? How are you supposed to ‘know’ who created the world?!

You don’t how an airplane flies or how an antibiotic works. You’ve never seen a germ or a virus, and probably don’t know where your spleen is or what it looks like. Does any of this matter? No, you live your life based on knowledge received from the past without need to reinvent the wheel.

G-d created the world and gave the Torah on Mt. Sinai unless you have witnesses to the contrary.

The best and wisest minds among our sages, every one of them smarter than Einstein, studied the Talmud for three thousand years without doubt of its origin and you are not sure!

So you feel guilty as if you are responsible to prove or confirm cosmic truths! Get real. Relax. It’s not your job. Your job is to elevate yourself to a more productive, noble, respectful life every day.

Work on that. I guarantee you won’t regret it!

Toxic Thought

2006-02-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

“Have you ever stopped to think – and forgot to start again?”

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and you try to answer but they don’t seem to be available to your response? Sometimes, people ask philosophical questions but before you can give the answer you first have to help them think. They were not brought up to think; they were never taught to think.

A healthy mind can consider any subject objectively, unless one has been bribed. Then, those who can see clearly become blind and the righteous become twisted.

Tanya says, “The mind governs the heart by nature.” The mind can disagree with its own heart and rule against the heart’s desire.

The mind can disagree with its heart! That’s a good description of a healthy person. But a toxic person has toxic thinking as the addicted person has addictive thinking.

In toxic thinking, though, the mind can be defied in a number of ways. Let’s use this scenario: A woman is told, "The man is old enough to be your father. He has been married four times. He abuses women. He has no job and will take all your money!”

Toxin A - Will vs. thought:

“I don’t care. I want to marry him!” In this instance the mind is silenced by the will.

A willful person is governed by his will, and “nothing can stand in the way of will.” Our will is a dictator, a bulldozer. It does not tolerate interference, not even the interference of thoughtful logic.

Toxin B - Opinion vs. thought: “The man is old enough to be your father, he’s been married four times etc.”

“You don’t know him. I know him. His previous wives didn’t understand him. I do. I know what I am doing!” The mind is fixed on an idea and can’t think further.

Toxin C - Love vs. thought: “The man is old enough to be your father, etc.”

“But I love him. I can’t live without him! My heart will break if I can’t marry him!” And tears flow copiously. Emotion overwhelms the mind.

Toxin D - Compassion vs. thought: “The man is old, etc.”

“I know, but he is so lonely. He has no one. Everyone judges him and rejects him. I’m the only one who can help him!” Here pity cancels logic.

In each case, when challenged, the response will be moral indignation:
“Are you telling me I can’t have what I want?!”
“Are you calling me stupid? Don’t you think I know that?!”
“How can you ignore my love? How can you be so insensitive?!”
“You don’t care about people like I do. You are too judgmental.”

And in each case the thinking has been shackled. The mind must agree with the demands of will and emotion or risk being dismissed altogether.

The mind can also be poisoned or drugged:
“There is nothing wrong with an older man – everyone gets old anyway.”
“He is not abusive – he hits women only when they deserve it.”
“He never hit his third wife - she hit him first.”
“He is not lazy. It’s just impossible to find a job under this corrupt government. We’re moving to Canada.”

Here the mind is not ignored: it is toxic. The mind is thrall to the bias of the heart, or addicted and inseparable from the feelings.

A healthy person should be able to think:
My heart tells me one thing but my mind does not agree.
I like this but should I do it?
I think I should, what do you think?
I want to go but maybe you don’t want to go.

This independence of mind from heart is what parents and teachers should be giving their children and students.

When a child says, “I don’t want to” and the mother says, “But you have to do what you have to do” she is helping the child free his mind from the immature emotions that govern a child’s behavior.

“You don’t feel like playing now but your friend is here and wants to play, so be nice.” The mother is showing the child that he can be bigger than his moods; that he can think beyond his impulse and actually consider another opinion, another’s option.

Without this training the child’s thinking will be addictive and toxic, and as an adult incapable of a relationship with a spouse.

By the way, we are all guilty of some toxic thinking. It’s just a matter of finding it in ourselves and detoxing.

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Sedona, AZ

2006-02-21T08:32:00.000-08:00

Retreat for Women in Sedona, AZ

with Rabbi Manis Friedman

March 7-12, 2006

Click here for details

Do We Believe in G-d?

2006-02-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

This article by Rabbi Friedman was originaly published on www.chabad.org.

Even the honest atheist will agree that a first cause, an original being, must have preceded the universe. This original cause or source is what so humbled Einstein, although he incorrectly described it as a religious experience. The questions of faith begin with how we understand this First Cause, its nature, and its relationship to us and to the universe.

The statement, "I believe there is a G-d" is meaningless. Faith is not the ability to imagine that which does not exist. Faith is finding relevance in that which is transcendent. To believe in G-d, then, means not that you're of the opinion that He exists, but that you have found relevance in Him. When a person says "I believe in G-d" what s/he really means is "G-d is significant in my life".

In discussing our relationship with G-d, the question we first need to ask, is, Who cares? In what way is He relevant?

For some people, G-d is relevant because they are concerned with the origins of existence. For others, G-d is relevant because they are concerned with the afterlife, and faith is a prerequisite for getting to heaven. Finally, for others, G-d is relevant because they believe that life has purpose.

In Judaism, particularly in Chassidism, the interest in G-d comes from the conviction that life has meaning. The recurring question in Chassidic thought is: Why is a soul sent into the world to suffer in a physical body, for 80, 90 years? We know there is a purpose, that G-d is the author of that purpose, and we want to know and understand it.

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Chabad Chassidism teaches that the mind is the soul's capacity to detect logic, the heart is the soul's capacity to respond negatively or positively. The respective functions of the mind, heart and soul are often confused.

One who lives by his heart exclusively, trusts only what he feels. One who lives by his mind exclusively, trusts only what fits. But neither of these tells you the truth. The mind demands that logic be trusted, the heart demands that the emotions be trusted. Yet both can be mistaken. They do not reveal inherent truth. For that, we turn to the soul, the neshamah. Because the soul is a part of the Divine -- and that is truth. When we have faith, when we find relevance in G-d, we are trusting that instinct in the soul that tells us that G-d is the purpose of life.

In pragmatic terms, the mind, the heart and the soul must each fulfill their function: when we know all that can be known, when we come to the edge of knowledge and logic itself tells us that we have reached its outer limits and it cannot handle what lay beyond this point, faith enters. Where the mind is no longer adequate, the soul responds to truth. This is faith.

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This faith, this soul response, is necessary in the fulfillment of that category of mitzvot known as chukim, supra-rational laws, laws that do not subscribe to reason.

If someone has difficulties with these particular commandments, that is an indication that they may be relying on the mind and heart at the expense of their own capacity to react to truth -- the expression of their soul. When a Jew fulfills a mitzvah before they've fully intellectualized it, they are allowing their neshamah to respond to truth.

It is an ability that often needs to be cultivated. The sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn (1880-1950), recounts in his memoirs that as a small child, he once asked his father to explain to him why we follow a particular custom with regard to the saying of Modeh Ani upon waking in the morning. Instead of giving the answer, the Rebbe's father led him to an elderly, simple Jew, and asked the Jew, "Why do you say Modeh Ani in this particular way?" To which the man responded, "Because that's how my father taught me to do it." The Rebbe's father might have just as easily given him the rational reason for the custom. Instead, he saw it as an opportunity to exercise his ability to respond with faith.

This is why in Chabad-Lubavitch it is our approach to invite a Jew -- even one who claims not to believe -- to do a mitzvah, before we engage them in a discussion on faith. Because in consideration of the existence of the soul, we can assume that we don't have to convince people of life's Divine purpose. We just have to get them started, and with each mitzvah they do, their neshama asserts itself more, and questions become answered of themselves. By way of analogy, if a woman's maternal instinct appears to be absent, you don't argue the philosophy of motherhood with her. Just put the baby in her lap and her maternal response will emerge.

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The relevance we find in Him will differ from person to person. Being that He is everything, people will experience G-d in every possible way. He is the G-d of Abraham and Isaac, of Benevolence and Might. And it is also true, as G-d says, "I am known according to my deeds." Some will know Him as a rewarding G-d, others as a G-d who punishes, who provides, who saves, who enlightens, who inspires, and so on and on..

In the beginning, G-d revealed Himself as the creator, master, king -- all very impersonal roles. In Halachah (Torah law) G-d reveals His laws, but doesn't allow His "personal feelings" to show. Later, in the Kabbalah, G-d makes Himself vulnerable; He shares imtimate details. He is humanized in a two-way relationship. So the Halachist has great respect for the wisdom of the commandments, while the mystic sees G-d as taking the mitzvot personally. When G-d says, "don't cut down fruit trees," if we were sensitive we would not only hear a commandment, but we'd see something about G-d. Kabbalah reveals that something. The halachot are the details; Kabbalah reads between the lines.

Kabbalah gives us a very different perspective on G-d's "anthropomorphic" behavior. It reminds us that Torah comes to teach us about G-d, and that expressions such as "G-d spoke," "G-d's hand," "G-d's anger," need to be considered from Torah's or G-d's perspective. We are not the reference point for G-d's behavior; G-d should serve as a reference for our behavior. He created the world. Speech, hand, anger, jealousy -- these are all His creations, these are all Divine rights. Our speech, our hand, our anger, our jealousy -- these are only metaphors for the real thing, not the other way around. When we read that "G-d raises His hand" and splits the sea, we need to measure our own hand against that. When we raise it, what happens? Nothing. We learn then that we are not quite as powerful as G-d. When we read that G-d gets angry and punishes because He created a world with a Divine purpose, and that purpose is frustrated, we ought to measure our own anger against that. What have we created? Nothing. We may not, therefore, get angry and punish as G-d does. Considering G-d's anger and other attributes in this way brings us to a humbling recognition. Only when our anger or jealousy is an expression of moral indignation does it reflect true, Divine qualities. Only then, may we exercise such expressions. Whatever truth there is in anything in us, it is the extent to which we embody what it is He tells us about Himself.

Pet Peeves: Just Words?

2006-02-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

Example: Government leaders who say, “We have the right to defend our citizens.” Is it really a ‘right’? Or do they mean ‘responsibility’? Every government is obligated to defend its citizens from threats domestic or foreign. Should a government feel that they are incapable of such defense, they must resign and let someone else govern. Is it just words? Or is it wrong-headed?

Example: Rabbis who equivocate, “We believe G-d spoke to our ancestors at Mt. Sinai.” We believe? Who’s we? Believe? Do you or don’t you know? It’s been 3,000 years and you still don’t know? And you’re a rabbi!

Did G-d create the world - yes or no? You believe he did? Maybe you should take up knitting! Is it just words or does it reveal a lack of conviction – the conviction that every Jew should have?

Example: Teachers who say, “G-d wants your Mitzvahs but doesn’t need them.” Let me understand this: G-d wants what he doesn’t need? He’s too perfect to need but not too perfect to want?

He wants every Jew to keep kosher yet not every Jew does; is He still perfect? He creates the world with a purpose – an important purpose – yet whether this purpose is achieved doesn’t matter to Him?! He doesn’t need it?

G-d says “I am a jealous G-d” but He is not really jealous?! He says non-kosher animals are an abomination, but thier not His abomination?!

We call Him “Father and King” but He doesn’t need His children or His people?! He doesn’t need Pharoah and the Egyptians to know Him – even as He gives that as His reason for ten plagues of human suffering?!

Wants. Needs. Is it just words or does it trivialize Him to claim that He demands what He does not need?

Example: Calling intimacy “Making love.” Does one ‘make’ love? Love is a feeling. Does one make feelings? Love means attraction. Does one make attraction? I know you can feel love; I don’t think you can make love.

Love is a very nice feeling and is often apropos to important relationships. But how can you compare it to intimacy? Love is personal; intimacy is interpersonal. Love can’t be regulated; intimacy must be regulated. Love can’t turn ugly; intimacy can. Love can not produce a baby; intimacy can.

So calling intimacy ‘love’ is degrading and vulgar. It reduces the sacred to a feeling; the spouse to an object of one’s mood; the baby to an intruder on a personal experience. Is it just words or we losing sight of all that is holy.

Example: People say “I doubt that”. Often they really know nothing at all about the subject. So what is doubt? What’s wrong with saying, “I really don’t know?”

“Do you think there is life on Mars?” “Nah, I doubt it”. Is that supposed to mean that you know something about Mars that makes you doubt it would support any kind of life?

How old do you think the world is? Do you think the Torah is Divine? Who do you think wrote the Zohar? Are you not sure or are you sure you don’t know? Is it just words or do we have a hard time being honest?

All I Got Was Words

2006-02-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

Speaking of words... here's a really old classic.

All I Got Was Words
by: unknown

When I was young and fancy free
My folks had no fine clothes for me
All I got was words:
Gott vet geben!
Gott tsu dankn!
Zoll mir nur leben un sein gezund.

When I was wont to travel far
They didn't provide me with a car
All I got was words:
Gay gezunt!
Fuhr pamelech!
Hob a glicklikhe reise!

I wanted to increase my knowledge
But they couldn't send me to college,
All I got was words:
Hob seichel!
Zei nit kein nahr!
Toire iz di beste schoire!

The years have flown. The world has turned.
Things I have forgotten, things I've learned,
Yet I remember:
Zog dem eemss!
Gib tsedakah!
Hob rachmaness!
Zei a mentsch!

Mazal Tov!

2006-02-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

Mazal Tov to Rabbi Friedman on the engagement of his son, Shmuely, to Rivky Alevsky of Cleveland, OH.

(This does explain the brief pause on this blog, but we will have a new post up shortly.)

Pharaoh's G-d Complex

2006-02-02T13:07:00.000-08:00

Never underestimate a story in Torah. For just as Torah itself is endless in meaning, so is every story. The characters in Torah must also be respected. Even the villagers. If Torah tells of them, and quotes them, there must be more to them than meets the eye. Pharaoh was no dummy (remember, crazy not stupid). He had a ‘G-d complex’ and wished to be worshiped as G-d is worshipped.

Upon discovering, from Joseph, that G-d wants to make a home for Himself out of the material, physical world -‘a dwelling place in the lowest world’- Pharaoh enslaved the Jews, demanding that they build homes for him out of the lowest materials in the world: mud and straw.

He was no dummy; when you are G-d, you do as G-d does. G-d chose the children of Abraham, and so does Pharaoh. G-d gives them a mission, so does Pharaoh. G-d expects total devotion, so does Pharaoh. Nothing can change G-d’s mind, nothing can change Pharaoh’s mind (almost.)

Pharaoh is also a realist with good practical sense. When Moshe tells him that the Jews want to go into the desert to worship G-d, Pharaoh is horrified by the prospect. “You want to go out into the desert in search of G-d?! I can’t let you do that. It’s irresponsible. Don’t you know what happens to people who build compounds and gather followers to seek signs of G-d? Haven’t you heard of Waco? Jim Jones? ‘I see blood in your future if you follow in this path.’ (Kool-Aid maybe)”

When Pharaoh finally relents, he thinks “Let them take a ‘minyan’ of Jews into the desert for three days, ‘to get it out of their system’.” But Moshe says “With our young and old, our sons and our daughters we will go.” Pharaoh is shocked, “You really are crazy, I can’t let you do this.”

Pharaoh is also surprised at Moshe, who grew up in the palace. Of all people, Moshe should appreciate the great strides Egypt was making in all fields. Egypt was on the cutting edge of science, medicine, architecture, and even religion with all its G-d’s. Egypt was the future of civilization at its best. Egyptian culture will reign supreme forever! The Jews could be part of this historical development, and Moshe wants to take them into the barren desert to become nomads! Useless, irrelevant, and insignificant creatures! Useless to themselves and the world! Pharaoh won’t allow it. Jewish intelligence, talent, and resourcefulness are terrible things to waste.

So Pharaoh sounds like a mentch after all. His arguments will echo many times through history, you hear it even today.

So what was wrong with Pharaoh?

Pharaoh’s problem was he thought Moshe wanted to go in search of G-d, to find or invent religion. In fact it was G-d who was searching for the “nation from within a nation” because he needed them. Once Pharaoh realized this, he not only let the Jews go, he rushed them out of Egypt because, “You don’t keep G-d waiting.”

Pharaoh now understood that Judaism was not to be another religion and Jews would not be religious. This was something else. This divine project would in fact be more relevant through history than Egypt, and long after Egypt is consigned to the museums of the world.

Judaism is vital, alive, and making trouble as much as before, with no sings of its infirmity.

But we need to be reminded of this truth daily “in remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt.” Jewish leaders need to make decisions based on Torah and Jewish Law, not on the values of Western civilization! We all need to put G-d’s agenda before our own and teach our children Torah before any other subject. Only then will the Pharaoh’s of the world realize the truth and help us make it a reality.

Road Trips 1-06

2006-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Recent events on the road with Rabbi Friedman...

In Merimack Valley, MA:

In Solon, OH:

Were you there?

Give us a report!!

"Ism"s That Aren't

2006-02-01T16:43:00.000-08:00

The following is from a talk given by Rabbi Manis Friedman shortly after 9/11. The print article first appeared on www.Chabad.org. Since then it has only become more and more relevant.

In this past few years, words have become very important. In truth, words are all we’ve ever had. But in light of the reactions and responses to what today is known simply as “9/11”, finding the right words has proven to be quite a challenge.

On that horrible morning we heard words like “criminals” and “madman”. Toward the end of the day, the attitude and language began to shift. The word “evil” was being used. That was a positive change.

The good news is that there is a moral nerve, a moral sensitivity that Americans are revealing that is real and strong.

On most subjects Americans are morally confused. However, when we see something that is clearly evil, America has no tolerance for it. By the same token, when we see something that is clearly good, America honors it. So when the word “evil” was introduced into the discussions of 9/11, that showed that we had moved toward something good—moral clarity.

That’s one word that was important to add.

There are other words that are important to delete. One example is the word “terrorism”.

If our response is to be a moral one, if we are to become better people, if something positive is to come of all this, then we mustn’t categorize it as terrorism. It’s the wrong word. There is no one in the world that teaches his or her children to believe in terrorism. In fact, there really is no such thing. There is communism. There is socialism. There are beliefs, religions, political systems, and philosophies. These are the “isms.” Terror is nothing more than a tool used to enforce them. This point was illustrated by the kinds of people and nations that joined the “Coalition against terror.” Even Arafat was “fighting terror.”

The truth is that this has been a catastrophe in the waiting for the past 2,000 years. We have acquired too many “isms”. And many people with many “isms” will inevitably cause a war. The bigger the numbers, the bigger the war.
We all heard interviews with representatives of Moslem groups. We heard them condemn what happened. But when asked, “Are the people who did this going to Heaven or Hell?” They couldn’t answer.

As long as we are labeling what happened as “terrorism,” anyone can condemn—even those who agreed with the perpetrators.

There is another word that needs to go—“Fanatics”. And by the same token, “extremist”. Both very useless words. If your cause is just, if you are on the right side, what is wrong with being an extremist? Is there really too much of a good thing? Have you had too much of a good thing lately?

If something is good, how does more make it bad? More should be better. Do we spoil our children with too much love? (Sometimes we use the phrase “too much love” when we mean “not enough discipline.” Actually, inadequate discipline is usually a sign of not enough love.) How about too much money? A lot of money is only bad if that’s all you have.

So why are we condemning fanaticism? That which is wrong in big scale is wrong in the small scale. It may not be as detrimental but it is equally wrong. We need to get to the root of the problem, to the moral issue that separates the good from the bad.
Since World War II we have not been faced with such a monumental issue of morality on which the world was divided. Just as President Bush said, “You are either with us or with them. There are two sides to this issue. And G-d is not neutral on the subject.”
So let’s not talk about “terrorism”—there is no such ism. Let’s not condemn “fanatics” and “extremists”, that serves only to distract us from the heart of the matter. Rather, let’s talk about the root, the subtle beginnings of this evil.

The subtle beginning of this evil is the belief that when you die you go to a better place. That is Evil. It may sound noble, spiritual, heavenly, religious and comforting. It also causes these believers to fly airplanes into large buildings.
What about the virtues of martyrdom? Isn’t this a noble act?

Of course this was not noble and it was not martyrdom. When I trade in my old car for a newer model, is that an act of self-sacrifice? If you give up your life because you believe that you will get a better one, is that martyrdom or just plain narcissism? Or perhaps the worst possible form of narcissism.

True martyrdom is when you give up your life precisely because life on earth is important enough and necessary enough to give up your own life for it. Is Heaven a better place? The answer must be “No.” Easier? Yes. Better? No.

We want to remain on earth because this is where we serve G-d. This is where we make a difference. The belief that heaven is a better place is an evil and it leads to unthinkable horrors.

G-d wants a world of people diverse in culture, in style, in appetite, in opinion—maybe even in religion; but not in morality. There cannot and may not be two moralities. This is what we mean when we say, “G-d is one.”

We’ve all had such a moment of clarity on September 11. Look how easily and spontaneously the word “G-d” came to everyone’s lips. Would you have expected this? In this secular, materialistic, assimilated community, the word G-d came most naturally to our lips. Not any religion-specific deity, savior or prophet, but simply G-d. And why did that happen? Because we saw beyond “religion” and “secularism.” We weren’t thinking about heaven, but about good and evil.

You can have two of everything else and it’s okay. Have two religions or five or fifty. Have sixty different versions of heaven. Pray twice a day or five times. On a carpet, on your knees, standing up. Whatever. But when it comes to morality there is only one G-d.

You don’t want to eat fish on Friday or work on Sunday? Gezunterheit. As long as the diversity doesn’t include differences of opinion on “Thou shall not kill.”
When we all agree on the definition of that one commandment, then and only then will there be peace in the world.

So just at the point in history when we thought that G-d and faith had finally become irrelevant, it turns out that the non-believers are unimportant (or not pertinent). Because if you believe that G-d wants you to kill, then your are one of the bad guys. If you believe that G-d doesn’t want you to kill, then you are one of the good guys. If you don’t believe you don’t make a difference.

Now, that we realize that commandments are indispensable, we should take another look at them all. Is honoring my parents negotiable? Is giving charity optional? Or are they essential to civilization itself?

A Final Exodus

2006-01-30T15:41:00.000-08:00

Exodus from Egypt involved a) destruction of Egypt and b) disengagement from Egypt. This is because ancient Egypt represented the constraints and limits imposed upon us by the unholy - the G-dlessness in the world. This un-holiness is the product of what the Kaballah calls “Tzimtzum” - the ‘hiding of G-d’s face’ and concealment of His presence. In that darkness all wickedness is possible.

The destruction of Egypt was the antidote to that Tzimtzum and made it possible for future generations to live free of such constraints. Once this evil was defeated there was no reason to stay, for it offered no further potential for good. So the children of Israel left that land and were ready to receive the Torah with its instructions on removing all evil from our lives. We have the freedom to do that because we are no longer slaves to Tzimtzum.

Before the coming of the Moshiach we need another exodus to free us of another constraint. This exodus involves a) refinement, not destruction, and b) perfection, not disengagement. This is because the constraint now is the physical world itself.

The world was created out of G-d’s infinite ability to be tiny as well as vast; hence, the world does not truly conceal G-d at all. Indeed, it actually reveals his ‘smallness’ - his ability to care about the little things.

The world shows us one of G-d’s faces; only Tzimtzum hides that fact from us. Remove the Tzimtzum and we see the world for what it is: a finite expression of G-d himself. This is a good thing and must not be destroyed, but it is also a constraint, as it limits our perception of G-d to the finite.

I will not sin, nor deny G-d, because I am free of Tzimtzum’s gravitational pull towards evil. I will serve G-d whom I recognize in creation. It’s His world I live in, he gives me life, so it’s only right to live it the way He wants. I will therefore serve Him whenever I can; in my spare time, with my spare change, when I’m feeling good, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my own life and needs. You know… reasonable, realistic, practical - finite.

This reserved, reasonable relationship with G-d cannot reach intensity of intimacy and is, in the end, sterile. We need another exodus, but this time not an escape from the world, only its refinement. Like refined gold, we separate the good of the world from its limits - for good is endless - and use the world as impetus towards an unconditional enthusiastic devotion to G-d’s vast eternal plan, thus bringing the world its “Tikkun”, or perfection. When it serves as catalyst for a oneness with G-d that is indestructible, ineluctable, ineffable, incomprehensible, and irresistibly and irreducibly Jewish. In other words, intimate!

This accords with the teaching of the Baal Shem Tov that the world is not the enemy. G-d is creating the world at all times and wants to be on earth with us more than in heaven. He therefore is involved in every detail of our lives, protecting us, expecting greatness from us, and looking forward to the day when we - He and his people - can settle down to a permanent intimate relationship in the world that has become the Holy of Holies.

q&a: Forgiving vs. Fixing - Part II

2006-01-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

Q. onionsoupmix asked, "Why can't G-d just change the nature of the child or some other transformation that does not involve an actual death?"

A. Hi! Thanks for the follow-up. The Tanya you are referring to is describing the different types of Klipah - un-holiness - in the world.

There is Klipah ‘lite’ which is permissible stuff that can be elevated to holiness by using it for a G-dly purpose. (I know you have studied this already but this is for those who have not.) The Rebbe then describes the ‘dark’ Klipah as stuff that is forbidden: non-kosher food, non-kosher relationships, etc. The un-holiness here cannot become good through good intentions. Marrying a non-Jew with holy intentions does not make it kosher. Eating pork “l’kovod Shabbos Kodesh” does not make it holy. However, Teshuva can.

When a person does Teshuva for a sin, he can redeem the energy which he invested in the sin – the energy that made evil stronger in himself and the world - and bring that energy back to holiness. If the Teshuva is intense and loving it can turn even the sin’s energy from the totally dark Klipah into light and goodness.

This is all quite beside the forgiveness that Teshuva always brings.

Now the Gemara (Talmud) says there are sins whose energy is so vile that Teshuva alone does not erase it. Only Yom Kippur will. Kippur means ‘cleanse’, not forgive.

Then there are sins which even Yom Kippur does not erase and for this purpose G-d invented death. Death means that evil cannot live forever.
So when man dies, his soul - everything good and holy about him - continues to live. This way we generally remember only the good.
Death terminates only the klipah that is attached to the person. Then, the Teshuva that he did while alive redeems the energy of even the vile Klipah.

Now we can understand the statement that the birth of a child through incest is a Klipah that WE cannot correct. Yet G-d, of course, can and does by inventing death. So the good news is that no damage caused by humans is permanently irreparable. This child lives a full life - nobody prays for him to die G-d forbid. And, as with all of us, his death erases the accumulated un-holiness including his illegitimacy. But the question still stands... why death? More to come...

Two's Better Than One

2006-01-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

Day by Day
Having two souls may make life more interesting but it’s not pleasant. There are moments when we lose ourselves in an experience as though we lose one of our souls and for the moment we are one – inner peace. This phenomenon can be negative, like “getting angry is like idolatry,” for in the moment of anger your G-dly soul is stirred into silence as if you have no G-d.

It can also be positive as when dancing on Simchas Torah as if no one were watching; holding your newborn for the first time; or as Tanya describes the davening of the “average Jew”, or Benoni, who is totally absorbed in thoughts of G-d’s greatness. At such a time he feels G-d’s closeness so intensely that the pleasure of the G-dly soul overflows the right side of the heart flooding the left side with G-dly pleasure, which carries the animal soul along for the moment and he feels like the Tzaddik, as if he had but one soul.

Another occasion would be ‘Yechidus,’ – a private audience with one’s Rebbe – when after months of intense preparation a chassid is alone, soul to soul, with his Rebbe. His mind and heart and even his senses are exquisitely focused on the desire for G-dly closeness and his other soul can only wish him success.

Now imagine a chassid who has studied that chapter of Tanya with the description of the Benoni’s prayers and is heartbroken over his own inability to prayer like that. He asks for an audience with his Rebbe and seeks advice on how to gain this feeling of inner peace, as if the G-dly soul was his only soul.

The Rebbe might say to him, “When two Jews speak of G-dliness and study together it is two G-dly souls against one animal soul.” This means that each of their animal souls remains alone, since there is no oneness in un-holiness. (My evil inclination has no interest in your sins.) But the G-dly souls unite in their desire to serve G-d.

Thus the animal soul is overwhelmed by the double G-dliness and can only be jealous and wish you success. These are very pleasant moments.

On that note, check out Hayom Yom of Teves 20 and Tanya for that same date.

q&a: Forgiving vs. Fixing - Part I

2006-01-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

Q. onionsoupmix asked, "The child produced from an adulterous union has to die before teshuva is fully accepted. Why isn't G-d more flexible?"

A. Hi! Welcome aboard, and thanks for the tough questions. They're always the
best.

You ask why G-d cannot be more forgiving in the instance where a child is born illegitimate.

For starters, here's an important point:

I assume you were referring to the Talmud's statement, "What is a deviation that cannot be corrected? It is giving birth to a child through incest or adultery." The Teshuva is not complete as long as the child is alive.

But notice, the Talmud is not speaking of sin. The Talmud uses the word "Meuves", which is a deviation, something crooked that needs straightening. And the question is not whether Teshuva brings forgiveness. The question is how we erase the consequences of the sin after being forgiven.

In other words, the question is Tikkun. You break someone's arm and he forgives you. Yet as long as his arm is in a cast you cannot forgive yourself.

So G-d is forgiving even for sins of adultery or incest. The problem is cleaning up the mess.

Keep me posted with your thoughts.

Down Memory Lane...

2006-01-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

Here's a little trip down memory lane...
Rabbi Friedman helping a man put on Tefillin in 197?.

Dinosaur-Speak:

2006-01-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

In response to the likes of a recent op-ed article published in the Jerusalem Post which is critical of Chabad for being too tolerant, Rabbi Friedman wrote the following comment:

Do you know why scientists have a hard time explaining the extinction of the dinosaurs? It’s because they are not extinct at all but very much in evidence - particularly in the behavior and thinking of many Jews. We need only read recent columns in the Jerusalem Post and elsewhere for clear corroboration of this theory.

These dinosaurs are among us and are in pain! It is sad to hear and see fellow Jews suffering in vain. They are the saddest collection of Jews and for no good reason. The ‘dinosaurs’ still think of Judaism as a religion! For shame.

A religion dictates that you will have your religious types and your non-religious types. As a religion you will spend your life defending against non-believers and hopelessly justifying, defending, protecting the religion itself. (Every religion seems to need defenders as it cannot defend itself.) As a religion you must emphasize reward and punishment to keep the people in line. And you find yourself quibbling among yourselves – “more punishment less reward” or “more reward less punishment.”

As a religion, you will watch in despair as more and more members defect or just drift away. But you half expected that, and sometimes you wish you could bring yourself to do likewise. You think reform and conservative congregations are your enemy because all the denominations are ‘religious’ to varying degrees and you must insist that your degree is the correct one. You are not ashamed to say that to your Judaism “denomination matters”. You have put your finger on the problem but don’t yet know it.

Come into the light of Torah. It will be a balm for your weary soul.

The dinosaur Jew believes that Judaism is simply about “Torah and Mitzvot, obedience and limitations, maintaining laws and traditions to transmit to the next generation.” If I believed that, I would be depressed as well!

This pithy summary of Judaism is fine as far as it goes, but it does not go far enough. It is missing a soul. It is missing purpose. It is missing G-d. Such thinking should have gone out the window three hundred years ago. So try a more Jewish approach. Try imitating G-d!

1. G-d is not religious; don’t be more religious than Him.

2. G-d loves Jews, not religion.

3. G-d asks Jews to join Him in all that is precious to Him: keep ‘my’ Shabbos, ‘my’ Mitzvot, ‘my’ Torah, love ‘my’ children; they are the apple of my eye.

4. Esther told Mordechai to proclaim a fast on Pesach. Mordechai objected and Esther asked, “Im Yisroel ayin, Pesach lomo?” Without Jews what is Pesach? G-d agreed with Esther and the rest is history.

5. To G-d the Jew comes first. He chose Abraham and his children. He comes down to Egypt to take out “a nation from among nations”, not by messenger or angel. He comes personally to carry them on “wings of eagles” and then gives them His Torah.
He makes them His partners in creation and depends on them to make this world G-dly for that is His purpose, His end goal. Toward that purpose His people have toiled and sacrificed for three thousand years.

Now as we get closer to the objective, we encounter stiffer resistance - it’s the bottom of the barrel - we are almost done. Yet the bottom is the grubbiest and hardest to clean, and His people will face the evils of communism, Nazism, ‘enlightenment’ and destruction. A whole generation grows up unaware of Torah, traditions, or punishment.

Yet, defying all logic a Jew gets into his car on Shabbos and drives to a place where other Jews observe Shabbos, wear sheitels and beards, speak of G-d and His chosen people; where this Jew will feel totally inadequate and out of his element.

He does this against the advice of his family and rabbi to find something he cannot articulate or justify, but neither can he deny it. He is a Jew and he will find his Father in heaven. Peer pressure will not stop him, discomfort and embarrassment will not keep him away. His family is upset with him, but he cajoles and insists and he brings them along.

But the Jewish dinosaur wants me to tell him, he who is closer to G-d than I, that he is violating G-d’s will and he is not welcome!

Understand that this Jew is moving closer to G-d. By learning about the Mitzvos, he is closer to observing them and his sincerity and purity of intentions makes me jealous and refreshes my soul. Yes my soul, which has become complacent in the habit of Mitzvot and in the arrogant assumption that G-d is pleased with me.

So let’s do ourselves a favor. Let’s stop defending Torah and start defending G-d’s children. Let’s stop practicing a religion and just be Jews. And, please, let’s stop promoting a denomination; let’s promote a world of Torah and Mitzvot created by the collective effort of fourteen million Jews and six billion human beings.

There's Nothin' To It... Part III

2006-01-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

Nothing is Everything
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Round is round
Square is square
But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Why? What is beauty? What makes it so different? (I know… we’re talking about intimacy. I’m getting to it…)

Beauty is the result of harmony. Harmony is the absence of conflict. When you have two colors and they blend nicely, you have a beautiful shade of color. Red alone is red. Yellow alone is yellow. To become beautiful, the two have to mix. But if they mix badly, if they clash, the result will be ugliness.

If the colors blend pleasantly you have beauty. But the beauty is not a thing you can point to. You still have only the two colors, red and yellow, no new ingredient has been introduced. The beauty is what you don’t see, namely, conflict. The red is not arrogant, demanding all the attention. Nor is the yellow. They leave room for each other. They absorb each other. It is that humility that is beautiful. But how do we see humility? We see the absence of conflict; we see what is not: nothing comes between them and that pleases the eye.

Holiness is like that, too. It is not something you can see; it is the absence of conflict. It is holy because of what it doesn’t have – duality.

Now to intimacy. When two people can remove all possible obstructions between them; when nothing at all gets between them; when they have a connection that is not dependent on any thing – that is intimacy.

Love can come from having many things in common, but intimacy is much more than love. Intimacy is more sacred, more pure, more dangerous and it can make babies!

The baby is not produced by some things alone - just some stuff contributed my mother and father. Babies are made by what is absent between them – duality. “And they shall become one flesh”. Remove all things that separate one person from another. They become one. That which allows such oneness can also produce a child.

So here’s the thing: Intimacy that is motivated by the desire for conquest is not the real thing. Conquest is a thing that comes between them. Sexual pleasure is also a thing that can come between man and wife. Ask your grandmother, “What do husband and wife do behind closed doors?” and she says, “Nothing.” Do you think she’s lying or not willing to tell you? She is telling you the truth. ‘No-thing’ is the perfect description of intimacy. If they were doing ‘some-thing’ it would no longer be intimate.

So, you see, ‘no-thing’ really is everything.

In a materialistic society, it is hard to relate to what is not a thing. We don’t understand G-d, beauty, holiness or intimacy because we are busy looking for the thing. But enough already…

There's Nothin' To It... Part II

2006-01-18T12:31:00.000-08:00

Sophistication - Disintegration
Holiness is a state of harmony; oneness. Duality is unholy. Divisiveness is evil. Fragmentation is dead. Holiness has a cadence. So does life. The parts of life all flow together in harmony creating a seamless and therefore pleasant experience.

Sophistication has brought ruin to life. Because we are sophisticated we think physical contact between man and women is just polite (a hand shake) and not sexual. We also think sex need not be intimate (or meaningful), but that it can be casual; exploratory; recreational. We also think intimacy need not mean marriage: a meaningful relationship doesn’t have to be permanent. We then think marriage need not be a family; (married with children or married without children.) So, touch is not sexual, sex is not intimate, intimacy is not marriage, marriage is not children. Like pearls without a string, the precious parts of life never become a necklace; they don’t hang together.

But wait! There is more.

If touch is not sex, sex is not intimate, intimate is not marriage and marriage is not children, then… children doesn’t mean marriage and marriage doesn’t mean intimate. You can have a child without marriage and you can have a child without being intimate. But what kind of child can this create? A cute little thing that will resent you, hate itself and be bent on self destruction?

Holiness is life; cadence. Un-holiness is de-cadence! It breaks the rhythm; life decomposes into a series of good feelings. Moments of pleasure, not one of which ever reaches critical mass and together do not produce life. Soon they lose pleasure and become empty rituals with only a memory of joy, what follows is ennui, despair, Prozac, etc. To regain life, find the sanctity. Find the thread that brings it all together; the whole that is greater then the sum of its parts. That which is not a thing, that which turns things into life. It’s called intimacy. But enough already…

There's Nothin' To It... Part I

2006-01-16T12:02:00.000-08:00

Men Fear Nothing
Women have many fears. Men fear nothing.

This is not to imply that men are fearless - not so! Men have one great fear, and what they fear is nothing – because man comes from nothing. Man was created from nothing (dust) and will return to nothing (dust.) Thus, man’s primal memory is of nothingness. G-d fashioned man out of earth and breathed into him a life – man existed before he lived – this memory of nothingness haunts man all his life and make him desperate to prove that he is something.

Men have a more fragile ego which they hope to hide with their machismo. To a man, every slight or criticism suggests that he is, in the end, really nothing. That hurts. Man is afraid of his own annihilation; women have no such fear.

Woman was created from a living man. Her primal memory is of being a man. Crush a woman’s spirit and she will revert to primordial state by losing her identity in some guy. She will become him. Crush a man and he will become a nothing.

Treat a man like dirt and he is frightened. Treat a woman like dirt and she is indignant.

Man needs to go from zero to one and always worries whether he made it. Woman needs to go from one to ten; for her zero is not in the equation.

When Hillel told the man on one foot “That which is hateful to you do not do unto to others” he was referring to ‘that’ thing which all men hate – being reminded of their nothingness.

Men spend their lives trying to prove themselves. Wealth, power, fame, women. Whatever goes from zero to sixty, but none of it works.

The most accomplished men have not rid themselves of this demon. One misstep, one criticism can cause annihilation. The most powerful men are often the most paranoid.

Now we know why men are not comfortable with what s not: “It’s not about you” or “its not what you have that counts” or “ask not…” or “Thou shalt not”.

Men just don’t like what is not. It suggests nothingness. In fact, men don’t even like ‘no.’ Being told ‘no’ destroys a man because he hears ‘no-thing’ and he must protect himself from annihilation. (A woman should never be in a position where she has to say ‘no’ to a man she likes.)

Bu… however… on the other hand… conversely, should a man accept his nothingness and make peace with the fact, he will free himself of his demon. Humility for a man is life-giving: “If in fact I am nothing and it is not about me, then whom shall I serve? What good shall I do? I am available. Send me. “Hineini!”
Hineini means, “I have resolved my obsession with survival, I have disarmed my ghost that haunts men and I am not longer distracted. So what do you need?”

Whereas women are capable of nurturing by nature - “I am something, I don’t need to ‘become’, so if someone does need I can help” - men can become nurturers if and when they become comfortable with their insignificance. This leads us to another subject: intimacy. But enough already….

The Source of All Evil

2006-01-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

Day by Day
Earlier this week we observed the “Fast of Tevet”. Like all fast days, it was a time for introspection and correction. Here’s an interesting though.

Tanya makes a distinction between the sins of forbidden relations, which involve two people, and the ‘wasting of seed’, which involves only ones self. The spiritual effect of a forbidden relationship is difficult to correct because the sin takes hold in the other person. You can repent that part of the sin that is within you by exorcising it from your system. But you cannot control that part of the sin that is now held within the other. This calls for thorough Teshuva (repentance). The wasting of seed on the other hand, produces more un-holiness, quantitatively, but it is more easily removed from the system.

Now consult your Hayom Yom for Tevet 10: "Let the sinner leave his path and the man of transgession his thoughts." The Rebbe explains this verse in this way: Just as the sinner must abandon his evil ways, for without Teshuva he cannot get into a life of holiness, so must the opinionated abandon his thoughts. One must not insist, “I say…” (my opinion is authoritative) or, “I think…” (my opinions are correct), for every “I” is the source of trouble and creates divisiveness.

This was said to “a Chassid during Yechidus”. Yechidus is a Chassid’s private audience with his Rebbe when a meeting of the souls is supposed to happen. In this case, the Rebbe was telling the Chassid that his self-importance is preventing the Yechidus from really happening, it is ‘divisive’.

The quote in the Hayom Yom is getting to the heart of that day’s Tanya reading: The ‘sinner’ in the verse relates to the sins of illicit relations as metioned in Tanya. (Unless otherwise indicated, 'sin' usually refers to sexual offense.) This sinner must abandon his sin with thorough Teshuva for the un-holiness he created involves other people.

The ‘opinionated’ one, who says “I say” or “I think”, is like the wasting of seed. Since his offence involves only himself, excluding all others, he needs only to abandon his thoughts; nevertheless, the quantity of evil he produces is greater. The “I” is the source of all trouble and the cause of divisiveness.

On Serving

2006-01-12T18:25:00.000-08:00

Here's a "class quote" taken from the Bais Chana website's "Essays" page.

Serving

"Sometimes we feel a sense of injustice, that we give to our husband or children more than we get in return.

"In reality, we were created to give, to serve. This is what life is all about from beginning to end. We are here to serve G-d. When you acknowledge that you were created to serve your Maker, serving you spouse and children is part of the bigger picture. But if you’re not serving G-d, why should you serve others?

"We’re confused. “Becoming something” has replaced serving the Creator. “Be all you can be” has replaced G-d.

"Let’s get back on track. Ultimately, the only thing we won’t regret in our lives is the service we did for others. That’s what has real validity.

"So ignore it when your children say you’ve ruined their lives. And the fact that your mother was always there for you will, in the end, outweigh what she did or didn’t do for you. We will always regret some things we did to our kids. But we will never regret that we did for them. Be totally comfortable doing the serving -- not to receive in return, just to serve; that is true humility. "

Comments: Ground Rules

2006-01-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

This blog project thrives on your comments! You are encouraged to post questions, comments, even criticism… any kind of feedback – almost. There is one simple rule: Keep comments appropriate and relevant! (It is sad that this needs to be said, but that’s the internet for you…)

So, to keep this blog running smooth, enjoyable and purposeful, all comments will be moderated. In all likelihood, your comment will be posted. But if it is deemed inappropriate, it will be rejected.

Looking forward to a lot more great learning and discussing.

~The BlogMaster

Wise. Humble. Royal.

2006-01-11T17:03:00.000-08:00

Day by Day
Those who personify true royalty have both superior intelligence and great humility.

King Saul, for example, was “head and shoulder above the rest.” A superior mind was his strong suit.

King David, who said “I am a worm, not a man”, embodied more humility.

Judah was royalty with emphasis on humility. Yehudah, which is etymologically related to “Hodaah”, means acknowledging and submitting to what is greater than oneself.

Yoseph was royalty with emphasis on intelligence. “There is none wiser or more knowing than you in all the land.”

In the story of Joseph and his brothers we read of the big showdown. Vayigash - Judah approaches Yoseph asking for peace. True peace in the area of royalty means harmony and unity of the two dimensions - wisdom and humility. Now Judah, the simple sincere student humbly asks Yoseph, the all knowing oracle, to enlighten him with wisdom thereby uniting the qualities of Royalty.

He says to Yoseph: a) to me you are royal like Pharaoh b) you will be punished bitterly like Pharaoh was punished for withholding my grandmother. c) you are disingenuous like Pharaoh d) I will kill you and Pharaoh.

It is fascinating how themes run through torah making connections where you don’t expect any.

The Alter Rebbe in his introduction to Tanya advises those students who seek wisdom and guidance to find teachers among the older scholars. To the scholars the Rebbe says: 1. do not make pretence of humility – that would be disingenuous 2. there is bitter punishment for those who withhold knowledge - as when Pharaoh withheld Sarah from her husband. 3. there is great reward for those who share - enlightenment from the Almighty Who bestows life - hence withholding would result in the loss of life, it will “kill you and Pharaoh”

The corresponding installment of Hayom Yom (5 Tevet) says: Our king, Moshiach, will make us understand the greatness of simple, sincere, humble service of G-d. Moshiach’s royalty will combine great wisdom with complete humility, thereby reigning forever.

Essence of the Essence

2006-01-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Tevet 2 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
Q. How do Torah and Mitzvot bring us closer to G-d if we are already a part of G-d above?

A. Torah is like water. Just as water flows from a high place to a lower place, Torah brings G-d’s unknowable will and wisdom - “no thought can comprehend Him” - down to this world so all minds can comprehend Him.

Now, why the comparison to water? If a concept is so subtle that we can’t grasp it, then a comparison to something more concrete is helpful. But we all know what downhill means (particularly us over forty) Torah was in Heaven and it came down like water, from high to low, downward, downhill, descending, from teacher to student. Okay, we got it!

Ah, but do we?

Knowledge flowing down from a teacher to a student gets filtered, suggesting it is diminished, altered to suit the student’s level of comprehension. The analogy to water reveals the unique nature of Torahs descent: Water arrives at bottom of the hill unchanged, unaltered, undiminished. So too, Torah, being G-d’s will and wisdom here on earth is the original unchanged product.

The Greeks in the Chanukah story had no idea. They naturally assumed that when G-d gave us the Mitzvot he gave them away. They were His in Heaven; G-d keeps the Mitzvot in some divine, celestial way. But when Mitzvot are given to humans, they become `humanized’, serving to raise the humans for their benefit in ways that their mind can appreciate.

The problem, they felt, was with the Jews who insisted that the Mitzvah, performed with physical material by physical bodies with human intelligence, is satisfying a divine need.

And that is the truth.

A Mitvah performed is not a fraction of his will or facsimile of what He really wants. It is all that He wants. It’s the whole thing. It fulfills His will. It satisfies His deepest, truest desire undiminished by its physical embodiment.

Our soul, by contrast, is a part of G-d above as it comes down into this world “from a lofty perch to a deep pit” it is diminished in some way; it is now a soul, where before it was just Him. By doing Mitzvot our souls are re-connected to Him as before their decent.

In its very essence, on the other hand, the soul has not changed at all. The core of the soul is immutable, essence of the Essence. In fact, the Jewish soul that performs the Mitzvah gives the Mitzvah its true divinity. Because the Mitzvah is His will, indeed a very intimate aspect of Him. The soul, however, is Him.

In conclusion: On the surface, Torah brings the Jew closer to G-d. On the deeper levels, Jews bring the Mitzvot closer to G-d. You now understand the Kabbalistic secret, “G-d, His Torah and His people are one.”

Be sure to check out the Hayom Yom and Tanya reading for today.

Songs of Praise

2006-01-01T08:36:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Tevet 1 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
Is there really a difference between nature and miracle? Is nature itself not a miracle?

Upon further thought we realize that nature should make us aware of G-d as much as a miracle does.

The very existence of a created being tells of a creator! The total obedience of light to the command ‘Let there be light’ is high praise o the creator. A universe consisting of miscellaneous mineral, vegetable and animal beings attests to a inscrutable Divine Plan: Only He can make something great out of such ordinary materials.

And so every creature sings His praise and nature itself is the ongoing miracle that can and should heighten our awareness of G-d and His vast eternal plan.

Check out the Hayom Yom and the Chabad version of the Hallel blessing.

Tragic-Punishment, Wondrous-Salvation

2005-12-31T21:36:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 30 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
Have you seen the Hayom Yom calendar for this date? It’s fascinating!

The tragic-punishment of the sins committed by the Jews in the times of Chanukah was the
a) Destruction of the Temple (in spirit)
b) Death
c) Subjugation in exile.

The Rebbe says “tragic-punishment”. What is the difference between tragedy and punishment?

When a person sins and suffers, that suffering may be punishment or it may be the consequence of the act. Put your finger in the fire and it will hurt. Punishment or consequence?

Often the punishment is joined to the consequence and they occur simultaneously. But they are different.

The laws of Torah are also the laws of creation. Mess up Torah and you’re messing up creation. Natural consequence. Fix what is wrong in observing Torah and the consequences disappear. Naturally. Punishment is the process by which the damage caused by sin is repaired.

The incomparable Reb Yoel Kahn taught us: A boy was running around barefoot and when told he might hurt himself. His response was, “I’m not afraid”.

You’ll get a splinter. “I’m not afraid.”

It will get infected. “I’m not afraid.”

So he gets a splinter, it gets infected, gangrene, is rushed to the hospital and after being treated with painful surgery and stitches, he is released and is again running about barefoot.

He is told he’ll get a splinter. His reply is the same “I’m not afraid”

It will get infected. “I’m not afraid.”

We will have to take you tot the hospital. “Oh! I’m scared!”

When Torah tells us not to eat a cockamamie food, that’s like saying don’t run barefoot or don’t cause damage. But when Torah says that if you do you will get 39 lashes, that’s like saying you’ll have to go to the hospital! So which statement should frighten you, the damage or the cure?

Punishment in Torah is the cure that heals the wound and makes it go away. When we see the suffering that follows after sin (like exile) it is partly punishment and partly consequence.

And now we know why the Rebbe hyphenated the two words, “Punishment-tragedy.”

Then, when the Jews did Teshuvah and great sacrifice, it brought the ‘wonder-salvation’ that was the miracle of Chanukah.

Wonder means miraculous – Peleh in Hebrew. Salvation means antidote; the solution to a threatening predicament.

So when Galut – exile – ends, is it a miracle or nature restored?

Was the collapse of Soviet communism a miracle or the inevitable fate of an evil, deceitful empire? Perhaps the miracle was that it could last as long as it did and its collapse was nature finding balance, correcting itself.

In the Chanukah story, when the Jews did Teshuvah it brought a ‘miraculous-antidote’, a combination of natural and super-natural results. Natural because evil must fail and light will dispel darkness naturally. And miraculous because it caught people’s attention and shook up their beliefs. It brought a new awareness. Natural occurrence doesn’t have that effect.

Now we know why the Rebbe hyphenated the words “wonder-salvation”.

Now here’s one for you:

Riddle: Why should the words “Evil-deceitful” be hyphenated?

Wishing you...

2005-12-30T15:51:00.000-08:00

Wishing you Shabbat Shalom, Chodesh Tov & Happy Chanukah!

That's a mouthful...

~The BlogMaster

Chanukah Musings

2005-12-29T20:04:00.000-08:00

Regards from Bais Chana...
It’s not as warm as I had hoped, coming to Florida from Minnesota. But here we are, outside of Orlando on beautiful camp grounds (hey, someone has to do it…) with some thirty delightful teenagers plus the staff, for the winter session of Bais Chana - and we’re learning Tanya!

Most of the girls are attending Jewish schools of one sort of another and all have been told that Judaism is beautiful, mitzvoth are beneficial, Torah is wise, the Maccabees were brave, Yosef was handsome, etc. But no mention of Divine Will (ratzon elyon) no mention of G-d’s pleasure or displeasure. No mention of Divine Kavanah, purpose of creation or the relationship between G-d and His Mitzvot nor between G–d and His people.

Sounds like Greek to me!

The Greeks of Chanukah believed in beauty, physical and spiritual. Judaism was spiritually beautiful, they agreed, so why spoil it by insisting that it is G-d’s Torah, His Mitzvot, for His pleasure? Do the Mitzvot if it makes you a more perfect human specimen. Study Torah if it makes you more intelligent. But do a Mitzvah for G-d? Not that the Greeks didn’t worship gods, deities of all sorts, they even bowed to them and offered incense.

But to the Greeks, all spiritual matters were part of human perfection: master the earth, master the heavens. Never merely to please a G-d who knows what He wants, we are not pawns in creation! We are not puppets to some celestial puppeteer! We aren’t wimps wanting to please! We are the captains of our fate – masters of our souls!

Only the week before I was in New York for the Shabbaton Retreat (you may have heard the live broadcast of the Saturday night talk). There I was making the argument for G-d’s needs. He needs the Mitzvah more than you do, etc.

The idea met with some resistance (as it always does): He is perfect, why would He need? The mitzvah is for our benefit on earth and in the hereafter.

Lately I have been thinking of the hereafter a lot. I guess that comes with age. I open the refrigerator and wonder, “what am I here after?” or I come into a room and think, “what am I here after. (Okay, so that’s an ‘old' joke…) But, I digress….

At that Saturday night lecture, one woman said to me, “I found myself resisting the idea of G-d needing our Mitzvot and wondering why. Then I realized that if the Mitzvah is for me I can fudge it a little. But if He really needs it then I have to do it and I have to do it right!

So, what do you think?

The Third Dimension

2005-12-29T00:36:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 28 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
Holy feelings, love and fear (or awe) of G-d or G-dliness are born out of knowledge: to know Him is to love Him.

Every soul has three mind faculties: discovery, development and relevance. Chochma is the discovery of an idea, Bina is the development of the discovery and Daat is identifying with the idea making it relevant to your life.

But discovery and development are truly objective, following the light of reason, wherever it might lead. Together they give the concept its dimensions, height and width. Chochma is height, Bina is breadth. You now have a square.

Daat, on the other hand, will not add new insight or more detail to the subject, it will add depth - what is already there will be deepened. The square becomes a cube. What is the deepening of an idea? Deep here implies internalizing or ‘personalizing.’

Think of G-d's greatness and you will have two dimensions. Think of your G-d’s greatness and you have three dimensions. Application of the information to your self, personal, that is the ‘deep’ of Daat.

In the daily reading of Tanya for this day we learn that Daat contains love and fear. Naturally, when you are personally affected by something or someone you respond with love or fear or both. We also learn that Chochma and Bina are the two ‘parents’ of the emotions.

But it’s the Daat that makes them real. Emotions of the heart are children of the mind. When parents are excited the children get excited as well, but the child’s excitement is fleeting, unreal, imagined.

When chochma and bina are inspired the heart will be stirred by their excitement. The heart will experience an emotion, love, but the ‘baby’ will not be viable, for the emotion is of the mind not of the heart.

Daat makes the emotion real by giving the heart its own excitement, this is accomplished by making the information personal, relevant.

Okay, now the Hayom Yom:

Rabbi Shneur Zalman, the first Chabad Rebbe, was the ‘discoverer’ of Chabad thought – its Chochma. The second Rebbe was its Bina and the third Rebbe gave it Daat.

The Hayom Yom reading for today says that the third Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mende, "made a latkah evening for his family, including his daughters-in-law, and so did the first Rebbe and so too the second Rebbe. "

Q. In telling us this historical tidbit, why not start from the beginning? Why not say, the first Rebbe made a latkah evening for the family and so did the second and third Rebbes?

Perhaps it is because the Tanya of the day introduces the faculty of Daat - Chocham and Bina having been introduced the previous day. The third Rebbe, Daat, is the primary focus of the day. Here the children were invited, ‘sons’ and ‘daughters’.

Which leads us to the custom of giving “gelt” to the children, particularly on the fourth or fifth night of Chanukah. Daat inspires love and awe, the fourth and fifth of the ten attributes and the first two of the 'children'.

Intersecting Torah

2005-12-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 26 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )

It is fascinating to see how the daily portion of Torah, the daily portion of Tanya and the day's Hayom Yom calendar quote intersect!

Notice the theme of birth:

In the Torah portion of the day Pharaoh is celebrating his birthday. Rashi writes, “A child is born through others” – emotions are born from intelligence.

Tanya of the day – the different levels among souls is due to the process of birth and the refinement of a child’s mind and heart are determined by the parents’ sanctity at conception.

The Hayom Yom message of the day is about the blessing of the new month on the Shabbat preceding the birth of the new moon.

Did You Miss It?

2005-12-27T15:46:00.000-08:00

Note from the BlogMaster: Did you miss Rabbi Friedman's live broadcast on Saturday night? Now, the wonderful people at www.virtualyeshiva.com have made the recording available to us. You can hear it by clicking here. (If it doesn't work, try going through their website.)
Enjoy!

fyi: Rabbi Friedman in the Keys

2005-12-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Friedman is currently in Florida and will be lecturing at the Bais Chana programs in Key Largo. The program for college age women is Jan. 2-8, regular program is Jan 6-12 and a Couples' Retreat Jan 12-15.

For more information on these and other Bais Chana programs go to http://www.baischana.org/.

Are Jews Normal?

2005-12-26T15:14:00.000-08:00

BlogMaster's Note: The following piece is an excerpt from a talk by Rabbi Friedman. It has been printed and reprinted many times and has appeared on many websites. In short - it is a Rabbi Friedman Classic! Enjoy!

The image is from this article posted on www.chabad.org, under the title, "Cold Soup".

If you ask someone coming out of church on a Sunday, "Do you believe in G-d?" the worshipper is shocked. "What type of question is that? Of course I do!" If you then ask him, "Do you consider yourself religious?" what will the answer be? "Certainly. That's why I'm here!"

If you go to a mosque on Friday and you ask the average person there, "Do you believe in G-d?" what will the answer be? "Definitely." "Do you consider yourself religious?" "Well, obviously."

This is normal. These conversations make sense.

Now go to synagogue on Yom Kippur. Ask the Jew sitting in the synagogue on Yom Kippur, fasting, "Do you believe in G-d?"

You cannot get a straight answer. "Umm, it depends on what you mean by 'G-d'." That's if they're the philosophical type. Otherwise they'll simply say, "What am I? A rabbi? I don't know."

So then ask them, "Do you consider yourself religious?" Have you ever asked an American Jew if they're religious? They crack up laughing. And they assure you that they're the furthest things from religious. "Are you kidding? Do you know what I eat for breakfast?"

Then every one of them will say, "I had a grandfather, on my mother's side, oh, that was a religious man. But me...?"

So you ask what appears to be a logical question. "Then why are you here?"
For some reason, this average Jew, who doesn't believe in G-d and is very not religious, will look at you like you're crazy and say, "What do you mean? It's Yom Kippur!"

This is not normal.

Let's analyze this for a moment. What is this Jew actually saying?

You asked him if he believes in G-d and he said "No." Or "When I was younger I used to." Or "When I get older I'll start to."
"So you don't believe in G-d?"
"No. I don't."
"Are you religious?"
"Furthest thing from it."
"So why are you here?"
"Because it's Yom Kippur!"

What he's saying is this: "Why am I here? Because G-d wants a Jew to be in the synagogue on Yom Kippur. So where else should I be?"

So you say: "But you don't believe in G-d."

He says, "So what?" and he doesn't understand your problem.

He is saying: "Today is Yom Kippur even if I don't have a calendar. This is a synagogue even if I don't like it. I am a Jew even if I'm not religious, and G-d is G-d even when I don't believe in Him. So what's your problem?"

Now that can be dismissed, and unfortunately many of us do dismiss it, as sheer hypocrisy. We say, "You don't believe in G-d and you're not religious--don't come to the synagogue. Don't come here just to show how Jewish you are."

The Lubavitcher Rebbe has a different approach. This insanity is what makes us Jewish. This is what shows how special we are in our relationship with G-d.

That's called truth. It's not about me. I don't want to be religious. I don't want to believe in G-d, I don't want to hear about this. But He wants me here, so here I am.

The same thing happens on Passover. Every Jew sits by a Seder. Ask the average Jew at a Seder, do you believe in G-d? Leave me alone. Are you religious? He chokes on the matzo laughing. So you're celebrating the Exodus from Egypt 3300 years ago? History is not my subject. Then why are you here? Where should I be? It's Passover! That's what's so magnificent about the Jew.

Now let's put it all in context. Three thousand, three hundred and twelve years ago G-d asked us if we would marry him. We had an extraordinary wedding ceremony, with great special effects--we were wowed. After the wedding He said, "I have a few things I'd like you to take care of for me so, please... I'll be right back." He hasn't been heard from since. For three thousand, three hundred and twelve years. He has sent messengers, messages, postcards--you know, writing on the walls... but we haven't heard a word from Him in all this time.

Imagine, a couple gets married, and the man says to his new wife, "Would you make me something to eat, please? I'll be right back." She begins preparing. The guy comes back 3300 years later, walks into the house, up to the table, straight to his favorite chair, sits down and tastes the soup that is on the table. The soup is cold.
What will his reaction be? If he's a wise man, he won't complain. Rather he'll think it's a miracle that the house is still there, that his table and favorite chair are still there. He'll be delighted to see a bowl of soup at his place. The soup is cold? Well, yes, over 3300 years, soup can get cold.

Now we are expecting Moshiach. The Rebbe introduced this radical notion that Moshiach is going to come now. What makes that so radical? It means he's going to come without a two-week notice. We always thought there was going to be some warning, so that we could get our act together before he comes. Moshiach, coming now? But now I'm not ready. I don't want to be judged the way I am. I need a little bit of a notice.

If Moshiach comes now, and wants to judge, what's he going to find? Cold soup?
If Moshiach comes now, the Rebbe tells us, he will find an incredibly healthy Jewish people. After 3300 years we are concerned about being Jewish, which means we are concerned about our relationship with G-d.

Moshiach comes today, he'll find that our soup is cold. We suffer from separation anxiety. We suffer from a loss of connection to our ancestors. We suffer a loss of connection even to our immediate family. The soup is cold. The soup is very cold. But whose fault is that? And who gets the credit for the fact that there is soup altogether?

We are a miracle. All we need to do is tap into it. We are the cure. Not only for ourselves, but also for the whole world. Through us the healing is holistic, it's natural, it's organic. Our relationship with G-d is organic. It's not a religion that we practice--it's us, it's who we are, it's what we are.

So the Rebbe tells us that the way to go is straight to G-d. Skip all the steps, skip the Kabbalah, go straight to G-d and be in touch with your purpose. The purpose is not Kabalistic. The purpose is personal. G-d needs you to do a mitzvah. He sent you into this world to be who you are, because only you can do this particular kind of mitzvah. True, the mitzvot are the same for all of us. But when you do it, it's different, because it's holistic. It's with your emotions, with your past problems, with your family background, with your knowledge and with your ignorance. All that comes together and makes your mitzvah holistically unique.

So let Moshiach come now and catch us here with our cold soup because we have nothing to be ashamed of. We are truly incredible. When G-d decided to marry us, He knew He was getting a really good deal.

Surrender and Merge

2005-12-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 25 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
Friday is the quality of Yesod - complete surrender of identity as in intimacy, where it’s not me, it’s we. Hayom Yom turns its attention to Chanukah, leaving only a hint of the nature of Friday. In the daily Tanya reading for that day, we are introduced to the fact that every Jew, righteous and sinful, has two souls- a holy soul and an animal soul.

How apt for Friday: On the Friday of creation, G-d saw all He had made and it was “very good.” The good inclination was good, the evil inclination, very good. (Inclining man towards evil forces him to try harder, thus making him “very good.”) Friday introduces the tension between two inclinations. Tanya introduces the tension between two souls.

Now the choice we must make is which soul will be our mate? With which soul will we identify to the point of intimacy? And that is the quality of Friday, Yesod. Mutual love does not make two people one. Only when they rise beyond love to intimacy, “Yesod,” do they surrender and merge into one.

And here’s the hint in the Hayom Yom. There are many laws and customs in the kindling of the Menorah. The Rebbe mentions only a select few. One of them is the concern for which direction the Menorah faces. But, he writes, “The Menorah can be placed facing either east to west or north to south.” There’s the link to intimacy: This very same spiritual concern also exists in Jewish law regarding the placement of the marital beds.

Never the Twain Shall Part

2005-12-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 24 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
The fourth, fifth and sixth days of the week express the qualities Netzach, Hod, and Yesod. Netzach means victory or “perseverance into victory” – getting the job done. Hod means ‘acknowledgement’ recognizing another’s importance above your own. Yesod means ‘foundation’ or ‘rock bottom’; complete surrender as in intimacy.

All three qualities are called ‘humble’ because they don’t have the excitement of Kindness, nor the drama of Severity, nor again, the beauty of Compassion- they are modest and humble. The humility comes from their objectivity; Netzach is the feeling that ‘you gotta do what you gotta do’. The objective reality demands certain actions so you surrender to the facts and do what must be done even if it involves personal sacrifice. That’s the positive side of Netzach.

Netzach can also be destructive. Just last week a married woman complained to me about her husband, “I don’t mind sacrificing my pleasures and preferences to keep peace in the home. What bothers me is that my husband doesn’t do the same. Why should I sacrifice if he won’t? This is the negative side of Netzach- “I’m willing to go to war for the cause but everyone must come with me.” If you get to stay home I won’t go either- it’s not fair!”

Hod comes to the rescue; Hod is the feeling that you are more important than me. Hence I will go to war but you must stay safe at home. I not only surrender to the facts ‘gotta do what you gotta do’ I also surrender to you “I will do the dirty work so you won’t have to.”

In holiness, Netzach and Hod are never separated; you don’t have one without the other. (In the body, Netzach and Hod are the right and left legs. The angels described in Yecheskel's -Ezekiel's - vision have “two legs as one”. And when standing in prayer our legs are together as one.)

Hayom Yom says that on Wednesday we surrender to the fact that Shabbos is coming and we need to prepare. For Thursday, Hayom Yom says, we feel humbled before G-d. How appropriate that Thursday is the Hemshech, a continuation, of Wednesday. A rare occurrence in the calendar, but Netzach and Hod must not be separated!

Chanukah Special: Wise Love

2005-12-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

We all know that the Chanukah candles radiate extraordinary light. But did you know that they also exude wisdom?

Eight candles - eight wisdoms on any given subject. Everyone loves Chanukah, so let’s take LOVE for example. Every candle offers a deep and practical insight into this most ethereal emotion. Listen carefully each night of Chanukah and you can hear the nuances of love that the flames reflect.

First Night: Love is not important; love is appropriate. It is appropriate to love that which is important. There are people in your life who are important; love them. But know that loving someone will not make them important. (The pet you love is not more important than a brother you hate.)

Second Night: You always hurt the ones you love for love can be selfish. But if you also feared the ones you love, you would be more careful about hurting them. You may buy gifts out of love but you could never hurt out of fear or respect, i.e. every life is sacred; this is G-d’s creation; this is the apple of His eye, etc.

Third Night: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Familiarity breeds contempt. Know the difference between the two. (Love is the desire for added closeness in order to bridge the distance between you. Don't become too familiar and complacent.)

Fourth Night: Don't confuse love with intimacy. Intimacy makes babies; love does not. Love may be indiscriminate; intimacy may not.

Fifth Night: Heart reflects heart. When someone loves you, your heart naturally loves back. If you don't deserve the love, you will love back even more. Treasure the love you are receiving and let your heart respond.

Sixth Night: Love begins with attraction. You find something attractive in a person: glamour, drama, fantasy, challenge, humor, values... and you want more. What is attractive about your spouse? He or she wants a good life, a family, children and all with you! That's a lot to love.

Seventh Night: No one has done more for you than your parents; no one will do more for you than your children. Teach your children to love your parents and everyone benefits. For part of loving someone is to endear them to others. Bridging the generations is beneficial to all.

Eighth Night: You don't give to the person you love; you love the person you give to. Investing time, money, energy and heart in another person makes for a strong and meaningful bond. Be generous.

In conclusion: In our relationship with G-d doing His mitzvoth makes you love Him more. Proclaiming His miracle endears Him to others.

Happy Chanukah!

Don't Just Do Something - Stand There!

2005-12-23T21:23:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 23
"You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child”. Parents can not be completely happy if their child is not.

Wednesday begins the second half of the week and preparations for Shabbat.

Q. Why three days preparation just to stop working? I can stop working at a moment’s notice.
A. Shabbat is more than cessation of work.

On Shabbat G-d feels content with His world, He rests. Goodness and holiness must always grow and increase, “No rest for the righteous”. But with creation, G-d is content on Shabbat. But He needs us, His children, to be content as well. This translates into thirty nine types of labor that are forbidden on Shabbat for they show discontentment: Cooking food because I don’t like it raw; Doing business because I need more money; washing cloths because I need a change, etc.
When I violate Shabbat it disturbs G-d’s contentment for a father is only as happy as his unhappiest child.

And so, to reach a state of contentment with our world; to like it just the way it is, sing praise to G-d.

Six days of the week we must not be satisfied with the way things are. We must harness nature’s powers to make life more livable. But on the seventh day we must stand back and adore the world as it is and see no need to change a thing.

Family has this pattern as well. There is a time to notice your child’s shortcoming; to agonize over their character flaws, bad habits and lack of knowledge – and then to do something about it all.

There is also a time when you must adore them: Stand back, be content with them as they are – it don’t get any better than this!

Words of Compassion

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Day by Day - Kislev 22 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )
For many centuries Jews have been repeating the words of King David’s Psalms. In times of joy, in time of trouble, in regular daily prayer - The Tehillim (Psalms) is a staple of Jewish life.

You can read Tehillim as a book of Torah, you can read it as a song of praise or as a desperate plea for Divine mercy.

At one and the same time it expresses G-d’s feelings (towards us) and our feelings (towards Him) making it a blend of Heaven and earth.

The same can be said of the third day of creation, which the Torah describes as “good for Heaven and good for earth.”

Here’s the idea: The kindness of Sunday, “Let there be light”, will not produce “Tikun Olam”. Like a friend who, with his unconditional love for you, will not correct your faults because he’s not bothered by them.

The judgment of Monday will not bring “Tikun Olam”, like the friend who is bothered by your faults and must reject you because of them.

Compassion is a compound of kindness and judgment. Like the friend who recognizes your faults, knows you’re guilty, but is moved to be kind even though you are undeserving. He will help you ‘fix’ your faults: Tikun Olam.

Reciting words of Tehillim arouses the Divine compassion that enables us to purify the unholy and turn darkness into light, thereby repairing the world.

In the Hayom Yom calendar for today, the Rebbe tells us of the practice of daily recitation of Tehillim and attributes the custom to a “Takkana of the Rebbe” (his father in-law).

This is the calendar’s first Tuesday. It’s about saying the words of Tehillim and the Rebbe calls it Takkana! As in, “Tikun (Olam).”

What do you think?

fyi:

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If you want to read more by Rabbi Friedman on the little digression in the last post, "A Kinder Severity", you can use this link. Enjoy. ~ The Blogmaster

A Kinder Severity

2005-12-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - Kislev 21 (See today's Hayom Yom here. )

Right, left and center… right, left and center… It seems everything in Judaism follows this pattern of threes.

Even the days of the week are divided into threes. The first half – Sunday, Monday, Tuesday; second half – Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then it is Shabbat.

In some places in Torah Shabbat is placed in the center: Prepare for Shabbat for three days, have Shabbat, then keep its blessings for three days.

The triad of the week puts Sunday on the right corresponding to kindness (hence the creation of light) and Monday on the left corresponding to severity (the separation of the waters and the creation of purgatory.)

FYI – the first millennium was an extension of the first day – one thousand years of indiscriminate kindness and endless light. People lived too long, animals grew too big, sin went unpunished. The second millennium is an extension of the second day – a thousand years of severity and judgment. Man’s life span was reduced, animals were no longer huge and sin was punished by a deluge – punishment by water… but I digress…

The first Monday in the Hayom Yom calendar, or the Kislev 21, urges the study of Mishna in the streets and committing Mishna to memory. Possibly because Mishna memorized protects the soul from the discomforts of purgatory and reciting Mishna in the streets clears away the un-holiness created on the primordial Monday.

The study of Chassidic thought goes a step further and clears away heavenly sources of judgment leaving perfect kindness.

Note: True kindness is distilled from judgment. But where there is no judgment there can be no kindness, only permissiveness. Kindness and permissiveness should never be confused!

Let There Be Light

2005-12-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - 20 Kislev
There are some days in the Hayom Yom calendar in which the Rebbe writes information which seem like simple statements upon the first reading. I’ve always found the comments on those days to be even more intriguing that the more obvious ones.

The first such example is Kislev 20. There the Rebbe tells us the exact dates on which the Tanya was first printed.

What’s the teaching in that? Here’s a thought:

In 1943, when the Rebbe first compiled the Hayom Yom, the 20th of Kislev was on a Sunday. Sunday is the day of light, as in “Let there be light” on day 1 of creation. That statement by the Creator was far more significant than merely the creation of one of many commodities. Creating light was G-d bringing order to the “world of chaos.”

Rabbi Shneur Zalman’s publishing the Tanya was his way of repeating that statement, “let there be light”, thus bringing order to a world in chaos.

Back in the early 80’s, the Rebbe enigmatically urged us to have an addition of the Tanya printed in every town or city where Jews live or visit.

In the years that followed, and particularly the past several years, with the global exporting of evil in the name of religion, it seems now that the Rebbe wanted then to claim the world for holiness before the “axis of evil” laid its claim.

There’s another meaning to light. Light is wisdom. In this, too, the Tanya is exceptional. The popularity of the Tanya, two hundred years after it first appeared, and its relevance to modern life mark it as an extraordinary work worthy of serious study.

Wrestling with Angels

2005-12-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

Day by Day - 19 Kislev
On the 19th of Kislev, two hundred seven years ago, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi was released from his imprisonment in Czarist Russia, where he was held for 52 days on charges that his Torah teachings threatened the imperial authority of the Czar. This was a watershed event in the history of Chassidism heralding a new era in the revelation of the "inner soul" of Torah, and is celebrated to this day. (Read more...)

Sometimes you have to fight - with an angel.

Yaakov, (Jacob) was the younger twin, yet he was the chosen one. To get his due he had to come in the back door, “steal” the blessings.

Heaven had not approved the notion of “one people” on earth. Yaakov wrestled with the angel and won. Heaven would now permit the establishment of the Chosen People- his name was changed to Israel and we have the “Children of Israel” – G-d’s people.

Sometimes you have to fight with an angel. Moses went up to Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah but the angels would not allow it. “Torah is Divine and belongs in heaven!” Moses would need to convince heaven that Torah could properly belong to earth. He “wrestled” with the angels and won. Torah is no longer the property of heaven, it belongs on earth.

Sometimes you have to fight with an angel. The Rebbe, Rabbi Shneur Zalman, would bring G-d Himself down to earth, making Him known to His creatures through human knowledge. The angels were adamant. “That’s going too far. That must not be allowed!”

The Rebbe’s life was in danger as he wrestled with the angels. On the 19th of Kislev he won. Heaven would support the spreading of the wells of Chasidut making the knowledge of god available to man. We now have Israel, Torah and G-d together on earth.

Hence “Yisroel, Orayta V’Kudesha Berich Hu Kulo Chad.” ~ The Zohar

Hence Tanya is a “great G-d in a little book.” ~Rabbi Zusia of Anipoli

Hence Torat Hachasidut sheds a whole new light on:
-- What is a Jew? "A piece of G-d from above", and
-- What is torah? “I give you Myself in Writing”, and
-- What is G-d about? Having a dwelling place in the lowest world, which will be filled with the knowledge of G-d as water fills the oceans.

Tanya enlightens the mind and enthuses the heart, and that’s Chabad.

Day by Day - Introduction

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Life is sacred. Thus, simple logic dictates that a moment of life must be sacred as well. The truly great can account for every minute - they make every minute count.

For the rest of us making every day count would be more realistic, and to help us with this task we have the "Hayom Yom" calendar which the Rebbe composed with a thought appropriate to each day.

Any thought of holiness at any time is, of course, precious. But "for everything there is a season under the heavens". So a good thought at the "right" time is even better.

I can't say I understand all the messages in Hayom Yom and we don't always know what makes a given idea relevant to a given day. However, this is only a blog (I don't know what that means either!) with no intention of offering a commentary on the work. Just some daily reflections, free association, a rant now and then, and some random thoughts. I hope you can join me every day.

(Hayom Yom is available with English translation from Kehot.com)

I hope you enjoy this series and welcome you along for the journey.

~Rabbi M. Friedman

Come on... Be a Mentch!

2005-12-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

"Obeying the law makes you a decent person; going beyond the letter of the law makes you a mentsch..."

Do you know about the ItsGoodToKnow CD-of-the-month club? It has been running for over ten years now and this year's series is called "How To Be A Mentch". In this series Rabbi Friedman teaches selections of Ethics of Out Fathers (Pirkei Avot) with unique insights from the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

And the best news is, it's not too late to join! Click on the image to the right and it'll take you right there. Enjoy!

Welcome!

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It is with gratitude to the Almighty for His many blessings that we bring to you this website. Together, we will learn, explore and grow with the guidance of one of today's most incredible teachers.

Rabbi Manis Friedman has inspired tens of thousands of Jews and non-Jews with his deeply sagacious yet entirely practical teachings.

With his students and 'fans' spread around the globe, this site will serve as a virtual community center for the "Rabbi Friedman community." Visitors will be able to post comments to, ask questions of and keep in touch with Rabbi Friedman

Rabbi Friedman will be posting just about every day (except Shabbat and major Jewish holidays) and you are encouraged to visit often and help spread the word!

Rabbi Friedman's first post is scheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 20 - the nineteenth of Kislev.

We'll see you then.

-The BlogMaster